When Jordana recorded her message for the #Emerging Proud film she was still struggling with the after- effects of her medications, and finding her place and purpose. Although we know that there isn’t an ‘end place’ where life is just bliss after becoming conscious, once we learn to let go to the divine flow of life, we’re often taken in directions we never dreamed possible – that is exactly what has happened to Jordana!

Thank you Jordana for your beautiful update…so, where are you now?

Where Am I Today?

Home with the flu, and finding a moment to write this long awaited update of where I am after my STEs (Spiritually Transformative Experiences). 

There has been so much transformation in the last 11 years, I almost don’t know where to start, but here goes.  I had 7 Spiritual Emergencies starting 11 years ago. And although I knew they weres spiritual openings and not mental illness, I live in Spain, which is extremely behind in terms of true spirituality and human rights, and I was diagnosed as bipolar with cyclical episodes and forced to hide everything. I was told that if anyone knew what had happened to me, my career as a yoga teacher and healer here would be finished and I was forced to be on meds for 8 years.

It took me 5 years of seeking out help from American teachers, mediums, key people from the SE community, and the support of Shades of Awakening, for me to muster up the courage to stand up for my rights as a woman and as a spiritual being, ween off my meds with the help of my progressive Psychiatrist here, and to finally live connected to God, without being deemed crazy. I left my husband, my job and all that I had, $200,000 worth of material goods including my house that I had paid in full to build, to start new. And although it was extremely difficult to lose so much, yet freeing and liberating, it ended up being much harder than I anticipated, as women here and possibly everywhere, have very little respect and very little value. I have since realized that it’s me who is responsible for my own lack of self value, and I am currently working on that transformation… to be continued….

But all this didn’t stop me. I became the co-director of Shades of Awakening, working on a volunteer basis for almost a year, learning the ins and outs of the SE community, and how to navigate my own crisis, as well as the crises of others. I received my SE Coaching certification from Emma Bragdon, but found it practically impossible to make a living in Spain doing my healing work. I was burnt out trying to find work to support myself and my son in Spain, so I went to the beach one day and gave it all up, and let it all go. I said to the Universe “that’s it… I give up looking for work here, give me what I need…” and in that moment my phone rang and I was given a job at a Yoga Center. I worked there as a partner for almost a year for free, quickly running through my savings.

So I returned to the Hamptons, NY for the summer, to work with my adored long time clients from 20 years ago, to make ends meet. It was there, the summer of 2018, that I had a huge spiritual opening from doing a 40 day spiritual practice, but this time, I was conscious, grounded, I knew how I did it, and I was totally connected with Akasha, who presented herself to me, as the feminine aspect of God. It was beautiful, magical, and everyone saw the process, as I somewhat documented it on Instagram. My transformation was visible in the material plane for everyone to see, accepted, and embraced by people who normally wouldn’t believe in these things, and I finally felt supported. I realized that I didn’t want money to be my  motivation for work, but healing, and most of all faith, so I returned to Spain to make a go at this beautiful Yoga Center that was so generously gifted to me by Akasha.

And then to my surprise, my partners one by one left the project, leaving me alone just before Christmas, with this huge responsibility of running the center by myself. I think I was in so much shock, that there was no time to think, and I could only move forward one day at a time with faith that Akasha would bring me everything that I needed. And she did, as today I have 2 amazing partners, support from my students, and we are creating an incredible healing center motivated by love, with an amazing like-minded community. I am teaching Hatha Yoga, Kundalini Yoga, a combination of the two, which I have coined ‘Vibra Yoga’. I am doing bodywork, coaching, spiritual mentoring, teaching philosophy, empowering people to heal themselves through 40 day spiritual practices at my center and online, and guiding support groups for people in SE, with the opportunity to enter into the mental health system here with my healing practices; things I would never dreamt of doing!!! And whilst economic abundance still seems to elude me, I have never been happier, offering my services on a donation basis, so my motivation is not money, but union and faith that Akasha will provide for me, as she always has when I let go of my ego, my control, and my false sense of reality, which is everything that isn’t love. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Although these last 11 years have been so challenging, so difficult, and so intense, I am incredibly grateful for all of it, for all of the conflict, for all of the lessons, for all of the growth. Evolution does come from suffering, otherwise I fall asleep. But the less I react, the less painful it is, the more connected I am, and the more life is bliss. Now my only wish is to show others their way… yet I let it go, and remain open to receive what Akasha feels is best for me.

In love, faith, and gratitude!!!

One Love,

Jordana 

Click HERE to go to Jordana’s Yoga centre website 

If you’d like to share an update of your #Emerging Proud journey, or would like to ’emerge’ for the first time, please do get in touch!  ❤

Have you experienced a spiritual emergence and were subsequently diagnosed with a mental illness by a licensed practitioner? 

Would you like to take part in a research study? 

Dissertation Research Project – Spiritual Emergence

After a long winter in deep processing and letting go of more layers, my purpose comes clear once more. To hold space for as many people as possible through their time of transition. My long journey through the layers of my being, coming in touch with my soul, and deepening my spiritual connection has come in may guises, with everyone a teacher along the way. 

And so it gives me great pleasure to screen for a second time, the film “Emerging Proud: coming out of the Spiritual Closet”, showcasing many a beloved speaking of their own journey of becoming, and every one reflecting something of my own inner journey. I pray this is an inspiration to many at this time that they are awakening to a deeper truth despite the stigma of being crazy. We are the ones who see and the ones who hear.

So pleased was I to join the training for Emerging Kind as it gave me a safe starting point to begin being of service to the many people undergoing profound transition at this time. Throughout last year I held a peer group, and felt the support of my peers for the first time, safe in the knowledge that not one of them was going to raise an eyebrow or give me a label. My soul has no labels. I am part of the One. As are we all…

Following the screening I will once again provide an Emerging Kind peer support group on the first Tuesday of every month, open to those who feel to share their experiences in the safety of a gentle, caring supportive space, free from labels and limitations.

Join me on Tuesday 2nd April 6.30-9pm at the Friends Meeting House, Temple Road, Llandrindod Wells. A informal discussion will commence after the screening with refreshments provided. Do come along and share your story.

Find out more by emailing me at: carolinemaryandrews@hotmail.com

I look forward to connecting with you.

Caroline

Great news folks – our Emerging Kind online group is open for new members!

Do you identify as having had a spiritual crisis / emergence / non-ordinary transcendent experience?

Do you feel it would be helpful to take part in a safe space sharing group and gain reciprocal support with your peers?

This group is hosted by our lovely trained Peer Experiencer, Ellie…

If you are interested in finding out more, or confused as to whether your experiences ‘fit’ with the terminology, please watch the #Emerging Proud film, and if it resonates then do get in touch with Ellie at: epmeditation@gmail.com

Have you signed up for our #Emerging Proud day 2019 celebrations?

CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP NOW 

12th May 2019 will see the launch of our Kinda Proud book series, and you’ll get a sneak preview of the first book!

In this first edition of our Pocketbooks of Hope and Transformation Series, we feature 16 stories of people who’ve had NOTEs (non-ordinary transcendent experiences). From challenging visionary experiences to overcoming dark nights’ of the soul, these stories showcase ordinary people from across the globe who experienced something extraordinary that pushed them beyond the edges of their known world. For many, their experiences brought about big life changes – for some their sanity was questioned, but for most they’ve been an invitation to step powerfully into a life of greater purpose and meaning.

CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP NOW 

What are people saying about this book?

Too many talented individuals have literally been ‘hexed’ into believing they have a permanent pathological brain condition by a culture and mental health system that does not understand the growth potential of a psychological crisis or the potential pathways to recovery.

During the production and distribution of our film CRAZYWISE I have heard from hundreds of individuals who have successfully navigated a severe mental emotional crisis. Many had to take the often disorienting and frightening journey into extra ordinary states of consciousness without any help or guidance. (In fact, CRAZYWISE has now been translated into 16 languages voluntarily by several of these individuals which has allowed it to be seen in 54 countries.)

I have often thought of what we can do to change the common consensus about a psychological crisis from a pathology to an opportunity. How do we support those in crisis and encourage more of those who have navigated a crisis to share their journeys of transformation and come out from under the cultural cloud of stigma and shame to share their process?

By making these initiatory but difficult experiences a cause for pride and celebration of strength and courage this remarkable book series does just that!

Phil Borges

Co-Producer/ Director CRAZYWISE

Join the conversations – join us LIVE! 

CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP NOW 

Have you experienced Spiritual Crisis/Emergence and live in the Oxford area of the UK?

Are you looking for a ‘safe space’ peer group in which to share your experience to navigate the challenges, feel validated and less alone?

There is a new *Emerging Kind peer support/sharing group at the Mind Wellbeing Centre on Cowley Road hosted by Alan

If you think that this group might be of interest to you, please contact Alan for more details at: alan@emergingkind.org

*Emerging Kind are a group of people who have experienced spiritual crisis/ emergence and have been trained to arrange and facilitate peer support groups around the country for Experiencers to meet and share.

Like Samaya, so many of us get nudges from our ‘Soul voice’, pushing us to live a life more authentically aligned with who we truly are. Doing so can cause chaos and pain as we choose to move away from fitting in with the social dictations we’ve often been brought up with. It’s learning to recognise that the pain of these messages can be the thing that liberates us, if we really listen, as Samaya recounts through her personal journey here….

THE VISIT

It was spring of 1993 when I got my first visit.

I was fifteen and having a tumultuous time trying to make sense of it all, when an inquisitive voice from deep within surfaced and started pulling me and my life into pieces.

It was my soul’s voice, which was asking me to start making meaning of what was worth valuing and loving, so I could start building my life with those things at the very heart of it all.

This was a task that I had not been prepared for and had no idea how to even start tackling. At that time, I hadn’t known anyone who had gone through anything quite like this.

What did I love?

I had no clue.

But the voice was there and it was insisting.

It was not barging.

It was not lessening.

Like an uninvited guest whom did not seem to be aware that they were gate-crashing.

If anything, they seemed to feel right at home.

This persistent enquiry that came almost out of the blue, pushed me into an intense process of searching and deconstruction that ended up leaving me exhausted, depressed and quite vulnerable.

What was worse, I was not coming up with the goods, and that was slowly killing me on the inside. At fifteen I felt like I had no clue about the things that really mattered, what I loved, what was worthy of love, and true value in my life.

Not just anyone’s life, but mine.

Most people I knew seemed to live life according to a book written by society and not their own soul.

Where was I going to get help from?

This deep search was not yielding successful results and it started affecting my external life so much so, that at 15, I seriously contemplated taking my own life and got really close to overdosing myself to death.

I was only to be saved, last minute, by a phone call from a friend who had previously also tried taking her own life.

I did not mention on that call what I was about to do, and my friend, who had slowly moved away from our friendship after her own attempt, admitted she did not know why she rung me, she just knew she had to do so.

I definitely look back on that call as an angelic intervention.

On the same day of the call, my soul came back with yet another message.

This time however it did not bring a question, but a piece of advice.

I was told that this did not need to sit as a heavy load on my shoulders. That I had a lot of my life ahead of me and that the answers did not need rushing,

I just needed to give myself permission to take my time.

This made a lot of sense to me and I somehow tried to go on living my life.

Fast forward fifteen years, I found myself living in a new country that felt like my spiritual home, living as a practising Buddhist.

Till then, soul would communicate to me in many indirect ways through music, art, books, poetry and other people, through their eyes, their movements, their words.

But very rarely did I get to channel direct messages from it just like that time when I was fifteen and scared to face myself and the big world.

One day, following the end of an intense work stint in the psychiatric wards of a London hospital, I got another visit.

My soul was there to touch base with me again, picking up from where we had left off and bringing up the question that it was no stranger to me.

“What in my life was worth living for?”

Yet by now another 15 years had gone by, I was older, yet despite the many more experiences under my belt, the depth of that enquiry yet again brought up a ton of fear.

Perhaps because this time around the question had lead me to another more relevant enquiry.

This new enquiry had to do with what value I was actually giving to the world, rather than what was being given to me, which is how I had seen it the first time around.

But I had yet to fully make my life my own and to tap into the potential that was lying within me, underneath it all.

I realised that I had not learned how to serve my own soul by showing up in the world in a way that fulfilled me.

The meditation I had been practising for years had helped me tap into myself, yet was now gradually getting me to want to create a more personable life, full of meaning, depth and purpose.

A life of creativity that stemmed from a deep connection with my soul, in a way that brought me and others joy.

I was being urged to create a much more personable life that lived on a daily communion with my soul and purpose.

Where I wouldn’t have to be tested like this over and over again.

This realisation and desire to align with my soul’s creativity and start living my life as a work of art, had become really clear.

I had come here in the world to create after all.

But first I had to take a little detour again.

I was triggered into yet another depression which lasted a period of 2 years.

I had to stop work and immerse myself into my healing, face my demons, get to know my fears and sabotages so I could understand myself better and go the distance.

I realised that I held the belief that I did not have much to offer the world.

That I couldn’t create and build good things.

And I feared that I was going to move through life without fulfilling my deeper purpose.

During that time, I was hanging on for dear life and often the intensity of the situation got me exhausted trying to stay afloat.

During an intensive silent meditation retreat with an esteemed teacher, I asked to be given permission to return home early because I found myself starting to plot throwing myself in the Scottish lochs and drown in the river.

Upon my return, what hit home with me was that if I was going to put all this energy to try and get the strength I needed to take my own life, I might as well put that energy into healing and keeping myself alive.

This realisation ended up becoming the actual fuel that helped me make my turn around.

I then started discovering many more gifts which soon made it apparent that my depression had turned into my actual medicine.

Shamans and Medicine men and women around the world say that when we lose our way, for a human to be truly born and married into their spirit and true self and find our true path, we often have to reach a state of emergency, where we are forced and initiated to activate our true spirit self.

It’s like the urgency, brought to us through an illness, a loss, an intense life experience, forces us to truly become ourselves.

Since these two visits, I am pleased to say I have been on a very different life trajectory.

There is a noticeable change and grounded-ness in my own soul and path, despite the various challenges that have presented my way.

It has not meant that life has become easier, but my capacity to process things is more robust, whilst I seem to maintain a more continuous and deeper communion with my soul, as well as my spirit path.

I have a lot more fun creating, which doesn’t seem so scary anymore.

And as far as my soul conversations go, these days they are more fun and enjoyable, reminding me daily we are here to play and fulfil our destiny by leaving our energy signature and blueprint in the world and shining our light bright.

Would my light shine as bright had it not been for the darkness I had encountered?

I will leave this for you to decide.

I have learned that my darkness is not to be feared, as it holds the most healing medicine, able to transform me over and over again to my deepest, truest self.

Thank you for reading my story. I hope it guides you through your own tough times and inspires you to choose to be returning back to your light, time and time again.

Love

Samaya Adelin

www.samayaadelin.com

If Samaya’s experience resonates with you and you’d like to share your story to be considered for publication in our KindaProud Pocket Books of Hope series, please CLICK HERE to find the contact details for our Reps ❤

I was delighted to be introduced to the lovely Kelly of Peace Within Radio because when we chatted I realised how aligned we were in our messages… the more voices the louder our messages of hope! I’m extra delighted that Kelly is now offering the opportunity to our community to be guests, and even potentially hosts! on her wonderful show… Thank you so much Kelly for all you are doing across the world through the airwaves ❤

Listen up if you feel called to speak out and #Emerge Proud on Peace Within Radio!

Mental Health and Music Radio – PEACE WITHIN RADIO

I’d like to say a warm hello to the members of the Emerging Proud community. My name is Kelly Martin, I am an author, podcaster, blogger and radio producer for ‘Peace Within Radio’. I am also a recovering darkness addict.

My journey began in childhood where I suffered from debilitating anxiety, panic attacks and as I entered my teenager years into adulthood, depression. I used to really identify with anxiety and depression, I assumed it would be a forever life experience. My identity was that of ANXIOUS KELLY or later FAILURE KELLY.

So in 2000 I started my spiritual journey, exploring life in all its aspects when backpacking around Australia. I didn’t know before 2000 that there was more to life than working, drinking and feeling in pain, but fortunately life stepped in and I was introduced to Reiki healing and also the big world of books, spirituality and different ways to find inner peace and balance.

To cut a long story short, 19 years on I am starting to emerge from the old story of failure, anxiety and depression knowing that probably the biggest dis-ease on this planet today is that of ‘not feeling good enough’, and through my work as a writer and podcaster I was introduced to radio as a mode to encourage and support those who needed it.

Born From The Darkness

‘Peace Within Radio’ was born out of a need to empower those who are drowning in the darkness of depression and other mental health issues. A voice of encouragement when the inner voice is critical and painful. I know from my own experience that to find a better way of looking at my journey was so important, but not everyone has access to the tools and words that can trigger such big change and emergence from the dark into the light, so ‘Peace Within Radio’ will be that voice.

However, we are not going to simply be ‘talk radio’, we will have music also. We fundraised for music licenses and we will be playing 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We are primarily based in the United Kingdom, but we will be available worldwide.

Voices Needed

On April 1st, we will be launching the station after successfully fundraising for it in October 2018, but we need voices.

We need storytellers, therapists, coaches and encouraging people.

We need people who have been there, bought the t-shirt and are willing to share encouragement via pre-recorded messages of hope.

And for those brave ones amongst you, we are looking for show hosts to host a weekly show dedicated to emerging from the pain of depression, anxiety, PTSD, grief, chronic fatigue syndrome and so much more. You can be as creative as you wish and artistic too.

Poets and spoken word artists are all welcome.

Providing enough of you come forward I will be running the EmergeProud interview series on the station also; that all depends on numbers, but aside from the interview series we simply need open-hearted people with the time and energy to shine a light on what worked or is working for them.

Shows So Far

Examples of shows we have lined up so far include:

The Journey Of Life Mental Health Show – (A men’s mental health show, we welcome more on this topic)

The Urban Yoda (A one man talk show where a wise sage in his eighties reflects on how he has moved through crippling depression and difficulties to find his own balance through the ancient Chinese Philosophy the I-CHING and overall life experience)

The Secret Psychiatrist (shares her wisdom and expert experience with clients, along with interviews with advocates and other experts)

Megyn Blanchard (‘Fall In Love With Being Human’) delving into the reality of needing to embrace the shadow and move away from primarily positive thinking.

And we have many more coming forward.

So, if you feel you could record a show 20 minutes long (30 minutes maximum) weekly I’d love to hear from you. This can be done from the comfort of your own home while sitting in your PJ’s, relaxed and comfortable.

Or if you would like to occasionally voice a piece of spoken word poetry or your story, that would be very welcome also.

And lastly if you would like to be part of the EmergeProud interview show please get in touch. As I mentioned above I would need quite a large number for this show to go ahead and be sustainable.

To find out more about the project visit our successful crowdfunding campaign HERE our website HERE or join the FOCUS group to get further involved on Facebook.

We need researchers and voices for many aspects of the station including introducing shows. It is a big job and as we are all volunteers, an ongoing journey for us all.

Thank you Katie for introducing me to your community, I am so grateful to connect with you all.

Kelly Martin (kellymartinspeaks.co.uk)

EMAIL: mailto:kelly@peacewithinradio.com

Kelly Martin is the author of ‘When Everyone Shines But You’ a mental health blogger,
podcaster at Kelly Martin Speaks and radio producer of the new mental health and music station Peace Within Radio. Kelly is on a mission to help those suffering with depression, anxiety and PTSD feel good enough exactly as they are.

TWITTER LINK / FACEBOOK LINK 

When Everyone Shines But You http://www.kellymartin.co.uk/when-everyone-shines-but-you.html

Mental health blogger https://kellymartinspeaks.co.uk

Kelly Martin Speaks https://kellymartinspeaks.podbean.com

As most of us discover after years of trying to make a difference in the world by being busy ‘doing’ good, Magdalena Smieszek found that it was her journey within that really gifted her the insight of her personal quest in connection to the whole of humanity. Her personal agony acted as a ‘wake-up call’ for healing both individually and collectively. As Magdalena explains, it was her birthright as a human to experience a profound spiritually transformative experience, and one that is now helping her to integrate more fully with her life purpose…

The Human Quest for Meaning

Our individual stories are connected in intricate ways to our collective stories. Like all stories, mine has had twists and turns, but the one thing that has been consistent is my search for meaning. Throughout life, I was especially drawn to the theme of justice. Influenced by my migratory and refugee childhood, the plight of the outsider in whatever form tore at my heartstrings. This embedded sense about injustice led to a career as a human rights advocate and humanitarian, hopeful that I too in Gandhi style wisdom can realize the change I want in the world. In fact, this objective took me around and around the world to do my little part in alleviating suffering. That to me was the right thing to do, the most meaningful one. Giving and receiving should equalize, I always thought. That’s a reasonable view, but also contentious as to where and how we attribute value.

Then came a time in my mid-thirties where the accumulated connection to the suffering of others had compounded my own suffering. I started to lose hope. The extent of human misery was overwhelming. I felt helpless when reflecting on the seemingly endless road of hurt that human beings inflict on each other. Distraught by the predicament of humanity as a whole, all the conflicts around the globe, and my own identity crisis in thinking that despite efforts I’m unable to do anything about it, I was thrust into despair. After years of connecting with many people and places, I disconnected from the outside world. I had gone far and wide to explore the external reality, and finally here I was, turning back to the point of origin, turning inside for much needed inner work and exploration.

I went into a deep meditative and transcendent state in which a powerful energetic force took over and pulled me through the doors of perception. On the other side was something incredibly profound – a tour of my own unconscious inner world, and even further, an exploration of the collective unconscious. So much of it is beautiful, for volumes to be filled. Just as much of it is dreadful, and yet we must confront it. Whatever doubt of the divine that I held, it dissolved. To me there was no mistaking it, I had a spiritual awakening of the most profound kind, the kind on which prophesies, spiritual traditions, and sacred texts are based. These days it can be shameful to say something like that. Who am I to say I had a visionary revelation, a Buddha-like enlightenment, a shamanic initiation, an awakening of such perfection and insight as Christ consciousness. Well, I am not ashamed to say – I am a human being, hence this is my birthright, and it happened.

In various degrees it lasted for days, weeks, and years, and it is still doing its work. This wasn’t a one-time occurrence but an opening and a process, sometimes blissful and sometimes distressing. The most meaningful part has been connecting my very personal experience to consensus reality – that process of integration, because as long as we live, it is not just in this miraculous inner universe but in a shared truth, even if this truth is continually shifting. I can get immersed in my inner experience, but the point is to bring it back, learn from it, expand, transform, connect, evolve, and create more beauty. Not only did I have a renewed hope, sense of purpose, and a vision, but a new index of downloaded information that I had to sort through.

How to bring it back and connect has been revealing itself as I moved forward in life. In some ways it’s obvious because human rights, aka the topic I’ve been obsessed with most of my life, are the evolving wisdom about human treatment drawn from numerous sources over generations and that includes spiritual traditions. But it goes back even further. An aspect of what we now call human rights have been in our unconscious before they took the form of conscious creations. They are tools for healing. This is our evolving universal morality for our betterment as individuals in our own unique story, and as humanity in our continually expanding collective story, transforming from immense pain and suffering towards greater compassion, care, inclusion, and love. We’re doing this by recognition of our shared dignity, our sacredness, our increasing empathy, and our expanding consciousness about what it means to be human as we include more and more experiences into our domain of understanding. This means also confronting the shadowy expressions of our existence.

Clearly there’s more work to do. There’s no shortage of pain and suffering in the world. That agony is a wake-up call for both individual and collective healing. Throughout history, mystics of all sorts have sought to create conditions for peace and love among humankind, not perfectly I may say, but in a very human way. They took the extraordinary turmoil of their awakening experience to create knowledge, movements, shifts in consciousness, and we are living their achievements. Now it’s our turn. How’s that for meaningful.

We couldn’t agree more Magdalena, what really seems to be at the core of our search for meaning is to collectively make the world a better place to live. As Roald Dahl says;

“Inside all of us is the power to change the world” 

We are no longer taking submissions for our Kinda Proud NOTEs Pocket Book, but we ARE still seeking stories for the 3 other titles. If you have a personal transformation story you’d like to share, then please CLICK HERE to find out how.