When Jordana recorded her message for the #Emerging Proud film she was still struggling with the after- effects of her medications, and finding her place and purpose. Although we know that there isn’t an ‘end place’ where life is just bliss after becoming conscious, once we learn to let go to the divine flow of life, we’re often taken in directions we never dreamed possible – that is exactly what has happened to Jordana!
Thank you Jordana for your beautiful update…so, where are you now?
Where Am I Today?
Home with the flu, and finding a moment to write this long awaited update of where I am after my STEs (Spiritually Transformative Experiences).
There has been so much transformation in the last 11 years, I almost don’t know where to start, but here goes. I had 7 Spiritual Emergencies starting 11 years ago. And although I knew they weres spiritual openings and not mental illness, I live in Spain, which is extremely behind in terms of true spirituality and human rights, and I was diagnosed as bipolar with cyclical episodes and forced to hide everything. I was told that if anyone knew what had happened to me, my career as a yoga teacher and healer here would be finished and I was forced to be on meds for 8 years.
It took me 5 years of seeking out help from American teachers, mediums, key people from the SE community, and the support of Shades of Awakening, for me to muster up the courage to stand up for my rights as a woman and as a spiritual being, ween off my meds with the help of my progressive Psychiatrist here, and to finally live connected to God, without being deemed crazy. I left my husband, my job and all that I had, $200,000 worth of material goods including my house that I had paid in full to build, to start new. And although it was extremely difficult to lose so much, yet freeing and liberating, it ended up being much harder than I anticipated, as women here and possibly everywhere, have very little respect and very little value. I have since realized that it’s me who is responsible for my own lack of self value, and I am currently working on that transformation… to be continued….
But all this didn’t stop me. I became the co-director of Shades of Awakening, working on a volunteer basis for almost a year, learning the ins and outs of the SE community, and how to navigate my own crisis, as well as the crises of others. I received my SE Coaching certification from Emma Bragdon, but found it practically impossible to make a living in Spain doing my healing work. I was burnt out trying to find work to support myself and my son in Spain, so I went to the beach one day and gave it all up, and let it all go. I said to the Universe “that’s it… I give up looking for work here, give me what I need…” and in that moment my phone rang and I was given a job at a Yoga Center. I worked there as a partner for almost a year for free, quickly running through my savings.
So I returned to the Hamptons, NY for the summer, to work with my adored long time clients from 20 years ago, to make ends meet. It was there, the summer of 2018, that I had a huge spiritual opening from doing a 40 day spiritual practice, but this time, I was conscious, grounded, I knew how I did it, and I was totally connected with Akasha, who presented herself to me, as the feminine aspect of God. It was beautiful, magical, and everyone saw the process, as I somewhat documented it on Instagram. My transformation was visible in the material plane for everyone to see, accepted, and embraced by people who normally wouldn’t believe in these things, and I finally felt supported. I realized that I didn’t want money to be my motivation for work, but healing, and most of all faith, so I returned to Spain to make a go at this beautiful Yoga Center that was so generously gifted to me by Akasha.
And then to my surprise, my partners one by one left the project, leaving me alone just before Christmas, with this huge responsibility of running the center by myself. I think I was in so much shock, that there was no time to think, and I could only move forward one day at a time with faith that Akasha would bring me everything that I needed. And she did, as today I have 2 amazing partners, support from my students, and we are creating an incredible healing center motivated by love, with an amazing like-minded community. I am teaching Hatha Yoga, Kundalini Yoga, a combination of the two, which I have coined ‘Vibra Yoga’. I am doing bodywork, coaching, spiritual mentoring, teaching philosophy, empowering people to heal themselves through 40 day spiritual practices at my center and online, and guiding support groups for people in SE, with the opportunity to enter into the mental health system here with my healing practices; things I would never dreamt of doing!!! And whilst economic abundance still seems to elude me, I have never been happier, offering my services on a donation basis, so my motivation is not money, but union and faith that Akasha will provide for me, as she always has when I let go of my ego, my control, and my false sense of reality, which is everything that isn’t love. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Although these last 11 years have been so challenging, so difficult, and so intense, I am incredibly grateful for all of it, for all of the conflict, for all of the lessons, for all of the growth. Evolution does come from suffering, otherwise I fall asleep. But the less I react, the less painful it is, the more connected I am, and the more life is bliss. Now my only wish is to show others their way… yet I let it go, and remain open to receive what Akasha feels is best for me.
In love, faith, and gratitude!!!
Click HERE to go to Jordana’s Yoga centre website
If you’d like to share an update of your #Emerging Proud journey, or would like to ’emerge’ for the first time, please do get in touch! ❤