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Rated #7 on Kindle on Amazon for mental health!

Hard copy also available on Amazon  (RRP £11.99) UK orders: Click Here

International orders: Click Here

If you’d like to be more ethical, order your copy from HERE

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Take a peek inside!

An excerpt from page, 90-92

“Did I deserve to be happy, after being so ungrateful for life? I was a walking disaster – who was I anyway? I went to a poetry workshop in an attempt to rekindle my writing:

Who Am I?

I am Katie. I am a Mottram, a ****, no longer either.

I am a broken oar; futile in a relentless rapid.

I am a weeping Willow, suffocating in the shadows of vast Oaks.

I am a chrysalis hanging by a thread, screaming for freedom.

Who Am I?

I am a blood-stained kitchen knife in a hospital corridor, Reflecting the pallor of a head held between trembling knees, the stench of sterilisation. I refuse to be an ostrich.

I am a palpitation, a lack of motivation, A spinning top refusing to stop; inherited suicidal tendencies.

I am a fake smile.

“I am fine”.

I am a pair of weighing scales, I am soaring on a thermal, Wind in my ears and warmth on my wings…and then I am lead, metallic and hollow.

I am an extended ride on the big dipper, “Stop, I want to get off!”

I am interdisciplinary, because it’s easier, I am ambiguity.

Who Am I?

I am that fake smile hiding inside a white dress; an expectation, I am making everything better.

“I am fine”.

I am an oven for a bun, I am someone – and then, I am not a mum.

I am wrapped around a tree trunk with shattered bodywork. I am smashed, I am strong, I am a Portland vase bleeding from every pore, until I’m empty.

Who Am I?

I run, and run, and run, and run…

“I am fine”.

I am a sponge for all your woes, I am dripping with your tears, projected traumas and unrequited desires.

I am a crumbling wall, a dirge. I am a problem, a solution, a shield, a hypocrite, a fraud, logical, illogical, contrary.

Who Am I?

I am a spirit level, kinetic, nutritious, going somewhere…

“I am fine”.

I am bleached, I am tanned, a glowing chasm. I am safe hiding in my cave, I am denial.

I am ripping off the white dress, fuck the expectations! I am a butterfly.

Who Am I?

I am an incomplete puzzle, destroyer, traitor, destroyed.

“I am fine”.

I am Neanderthal, a foetus in a puddle of infinite tears. I am numb, I am orgasmic, I CAN feel.

I am not safe hiding in my cave. I am a masochist, obliterated, a failure.

Who Am I?

I am vomit, I am intubated, an exhibition for curious eyes. I am “loca”.

“I am fine”.

I am a nightmare, but I am not dreaming. I am waiting to be shot by a star.

I am here, I am now, and I am proud…”

I will be fine”.

Who Am I?

The words had flowed as if through my own hand but from somewhere beyond my brain again. Did I really feel like this? I hadn’t even realised. Who the fuck was I, and how was I supposed to find out?”

Following another ‘dark night of the soul’ experience in 2021, I wrote a sequel to ‘Who Am I?’

Listen to ‘Who Am I Now?’ (Nov 2021), here:

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Some reviews for Mend the Gap:

on 7 October 2014
Katie Mottram didn’t so much write this book, as sing it from her soul. In a profound and heartfelt way, she has shared her moving life experience so that others may learn that hope should never be lost. Having sat on both sides of the fence of the mental healthcare system, she can attest to the value of acceptance, compassion and connection – something that all too often gets overlooked in the often exclusively medication based system we have today.She catalogues, in impressive and powerful prose, the journey of generational pain, but it is a pain that Katie is now channelling for the greater good, not just in writing this book, but also in working with others to bring about some real changes in the way we provide mental healthcare today.This is unquestionably her life’s mission, and this book is it’s launching pad.Thank you Katie! On behalf of the many, many people who will undoubtedly benefit from your work in the years and decades to come
on 20 August 2017
Absolutely fantastic book.
I wanted to read this book for a few reasons. I work in mental health and I’m passionate about compassionate approaches in the field. But mostly, I have a friend who went through a spiritual crisis and I need to learn more about how we can deal with these things.
I found the book to be inspiring.
I went through many emotions while reading this book. Joy and elation, to bawling my eyes out.
Katie’s honesty and openness is heart-warming. Her story is touching and moving.
Katie shows how the current mental health system isn’t working. She shows how love and compassion can be transformative and life changing for people caught up in the system.
We need to change the way mental health services are run and she helps us understand how we can do this. She IS actually doing it!!If you are interested in how spiritual crises are linked to psychological breakdown, then you NEED to read this book!
on 22 February 2016
This book ignited a passion in me to explore more and I could not put it down. A very authentic book.
on 4 January 2015
I stumbled upon Katie’s memoirs “by chance” through a facebook post and although it came too late in terms of my own experience with the mental health system, it gives me great hope for the future. The final words of her book which aims at promoting a different mental health system wish for a change in the question “What is wrong with you?” For “What has happened to you for you to experience what you are experiencing”. This is music to my ears. May the movement that Katie initiated gain momentum not only in the UK, but worldwide. Mental health is the last bastion of oppression. None of what happens on psychiatric hospitals is needed anymore. Violence and medication is not the answer. The answer comes from the patients. The very patient patients.
on 8 December 2014
This book brings a number of new initiatives into the spotlight. There is a paradigm shift within the mental health field which could change how we connect to each other in our society and throughout the world. Katie’s raw and honest account shows how each and every one of us can have a different relationship to our own life’s journey, help us shed our fear of living our lives to our full potential, embrace every part of ourselves and allow our moment by moment awareness point us to the riches of ordinary life.
Comment|2 people found this helpful.
on 23 November 2014
Inspirational story, I think anyone who reads this book will identify with at least some of Katie’s story and know there has to be a change with the way we look at mental health, a change for the better and it’s coming!
on 25 October 2014
Mend the Gap is a breath of fresh air for anyone who has worked in or been on the receiving end of mental health services. Also for anyone who has suffered despair and confusion that what they are experiencing is ‘crazy’ or unbelievable or impossible – basically all humans at some time in their life Mend the Gap does exactly that – it offers a new way of understanding and supporting mental distress which is, in many respects, the only humane and enlightened way forward.The author’s journey is described with both bravery, honesty and passion for building a better way forward. She does not merely offer a vision of hope and possibility for a new paradigm in mental health services. She has found ways of enabling her local mental health trust to sit up and take notice of the of the need for change and has amassed a global network of professionals and individuals who are also working towards the same goal. She is also running workshops to inform and enable individuals to find their own way forward towards realising and developing their own potential by reconnecting with their deeper intuition and growthA truly inspirational read on many levels – both personal and global in it’s message of hope
on 15 October 2014
A compelling read, Katie’s journey may bring tears to your eyes and joy to your heart and her story offers a beacon of hope. Continually using every experience as a mirror, to gain awareness, learn about herself and breakthrough what had limited her as she navigated her journey towards making a significant difference on the mental health system, has culminated in this great example of how to heal, think, feel and live in the flow to express full potential. Her vision seemed enormous and her commitment to chip away diligently to create more effective thoughts and beliefs while having complete faith in support from the universe and guidance from above, has been an emotional and inspiring ride. Step by step, Katie embraced it all with such awesome courage and unwavering focus.Katie’s determination to share her powerful message of hope through Mend The Gap, seems like a full circle that has connected all the dots of her life and launches a new paradigm shift for mental health.Awesome!