Alan tells here how an intense spiritual experience one evening opened him up to a new talent; channelling art from what he describes as “another Universe”…

“My beautiful wife Jenny, the loving soul that she is, had had enough of my crazy ways, but still she had that unconditional loving of a human being to come to my bedside that night and try to get me comfortable enough to sleep, she put me in a position that was just not comfortable for me, and then turned me on my side in foetal position placed the crystal in my left hand and worked healing until I seemed comfortable, when she left the bedroom quietly like the angel she is.

I lay there curled up like a child holding my crystal, what triggered the next stages came from a power that I did not recognise. I started the journey, all of me had to go, inside me I was riddled with nastiness a cancer of all that is sub human it was black it was controlling me it knew it had control and could control me at its will. I lay there and thought right this is the end I will win this, and then it began, I spoke to myself and said this is it, this must now begin to rid you of me.

At first my mind had to focus only on the blackness and the growling voice inside me, the noises coming from within were indeed like something from a Hollywood horror movie. My guts started to push on this heavy weight I said go now and forever it growled at me it was mine. I pushed I shouted it growled I tensed this was it, would not move, I knew that if I moved I would never rid myself of this controlling evil within me, my throat began to gag breathing became exerted my stomach pushed, my mind said stay with, fight it don’t let grow it began to growl my mind my body became one, the more I pushed the more it fought, I knew I must not release my grip or I would lose, I had to pause and regroup to gain more strength I felt the first drop of sweat hit my breast it was battle whatever way and why I knew I had to win, the force was nothing I had ever felt before, go, go, go you are not coming back. I felt I was in a space capsule it was dark it was confined I was mean, it growled I growled he was going my body was at maximum strength my mind was determined I felt movement inside me it was breaking and then the very first release from the middle of my chest just a tiny release, I then called the angels and Archangel Michael I screamed break this with me rid of this flood me, flood in waves of love I need you please help.

It started to begin waves upon waves of angels forward like fish flooding through a net, it started to break I guided the angels in lines to the left to the right, it splintered to the left to the right, begged them to keep coming we are on our way the light started to come through my body all in lines my throat was gagging I called for more air to push my mind ask for strength the angels kept coming they knew I wanted this needed it, I heard birds singing and I felt I was whistling, (rather strange as I cannot whistle) we were winning they were power angels on a mission a mission to save me to bring to the light, they knew a child of the universe was begging to be born, it growled in defiance it was going, the blackness had gone.

The work was half done I paused the angels paused we regrouped, we now had to clean me bring me to the light my top half of my body was a milky grey, my lower parts of my body the colours of wonderment, we worked in unison I asked the angels to go through the colours of wonderment, they knew, worked to do. I thanked them blessed them, like an army of ants the colours swept through, the angels were spreading love through me a love I never understood, the grey became white it was dying the old me, it was still growling but in the knowledge it was going, I felt no glory in this, and then I had a choice slay with the might of true warrior, or bless with love and let the past go quietly, the angels stood by, I took my mind back to my Jenny she always blesses with love, I said go now with love there is no victor, it groaned in pain as it left but it was grateful, I do not remember the angels leaving.

I lay very still for how long I do not know, it was calm though, I slowly gathered my thoughts, My feelings were of one very scared child, stunned I left the bedroom and went to the kitchen it was 12.00 am, I had spent one and a half hours upstairs fighting. I went into the garden totally gobsmacked and sat and cried with joy and astonishment over just what had occurred.”

2017 “I’m not sure why my spiritual outburst in art took so long. I have always known as a child that I felt disconnected, and indeed my life history tells me that as a human form in my current state I was and have been searching for home.

This art has come from nowhere led from my very deep and spiritual awakening in August 2014. The “Special Vision” picture (below) was my visual interpretation of my awakening that evening and the words attached were my first and only written interpretation of this event. I have hidden this from the world, simply because I felt people would think I was mad.

From that day, I felt that I indeed was living in a parallel Universe where mostly children and animals could measure my vibration. My viewing of humans showed me their journeys and I indeed saw the many difficult and weary souls.

I have no formal training in the subject matter of art nor was this pre-planned, the wording attached to my artworks sadly has been written in such a way so that I could show the world my art, but hide the spiritual wording that I saw and felt when I was in production, again simply because it felt that no one would understand what was going on within me.

I don’t know how the shapes are formed, I am taken to a Universe beyond my current conscious thinking. It is as if I am being led to leave earth a message for those who are left behind when my human form departs.

The Universe has allowed me to travel back to a lifetime I’ve never had in my childhood and what all little children may see and think.

I leave my story for you to embrace as my final destination is many journeys within journeys and one hopes I eventually evaporate to angel dust that sprinkles gently to all life forces.”

See more of Alan’s channelled art at: http://www.latliveart.com/

Breaking or Awakening: Tee’s story

Thinking back and trying to recall in accurate detail, the process that some view as a “nervous breakdown,” “psychotic break,” “exhaustion” or whatever other term is used to describe my “spiritual awakening,” is both difficult and painful for me. I think that mostly this is due to the judgement around the events being seen as failure or “being broken.” Not good enough. Less than. This actually was not the first time “it” happened, it is just that I attempted to address “it” this time. I had also had years of recovery from substance abuse and alcohol addiction under my belt, thank Goddess.

I remember standing on the platform of the Concord BART station in the Bay Area where I had been living for about 10 years with my partner, living in our “own private Idaho,” waiting for the 6:10 to take me into San Francisco where I had been working at the Museum of Modern Art as a Retail Operations Manager.

I remember thinking “I can’t do this anymore.” I was feeling unfulfilled and inauthentic. I hated my job. I had always been propelled through life by my passion to do art.  I had none left. I was an empty shell of my former “happy go lucky” self. I had worked a few dead end mundane jobs that sucked the life out of me prior to my arrival at SFMOMA.

I was having sleep issues and was not getting much. My partner was on disability for HIV and we had a mortgage and furry mouths to feed. Most of the responsibilities fell on my shoulders. I had no room for self-fulfillment on an artistic level, or so it seemed to me. After several tests etc. it turned out that I had sleep apnea. While addressing that, I started seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist. I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety disorder as I started experiencing panic attacks. My therapist explained the Dark Night of the Soul which she pointed out and explained to me, which really resonated with me. She understood me. I was teetering on Suicide and had suicidal ideations my entire life starting around 15. This was the first time I held my Boy Scout knife to my jugular vein and pressed against it, but resisted the plunge. I never acted on my impulses, but would often do “dry runs.” I always had a plan. I would rehearse them over and over in my mind completely down to the last detail. The plans would just change and morph over time. Somehow in my mind, this was a “survival tool”. It helped me cope with the emotional and Spiritual pain that I lived in

I was put out on disability from my job and entered an Outpatient day program through John Muir in Concord, California. I was put on approximately 4 or 5 different medications by my psychiatrist in an attempt to figure out “what was wrong with me.”

I had suffered bouts of agoraphobia after my first partner Ali, died from Aids approximately 15 years earlier. We (my psychiatrist and myself) were exploring: PTSD, Schizophrenia, Bi-polar, multiple personality disorder and other terms as well as, my Suicidal ideation which had become quite prominent and I would say a dominant theme in my life. I remember the day that I knew I was “beginning to crack.” I heard and felt a deep rumbling inside myself while at the day program and didn’t know what was happening. It felt like an emotional tsunami and I jumped up out of my seat running down the halls of the facility pulling on locked doors trying to find a place to hide from what was happening. I heard the sounds of a deeply, wounded animal coming from the depths of my Soul broadcasting and reverbing in the empty halls.  I didn’t know it was possible to emit those sounds and didn’t recognize them as mine, but knew they were coming from me. I finished out the rest of my Program and in the middle of my “Dark Night of the Soul,” my partner William was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer and given 1 year to live.

I spent the next year running him to his chemo appointments at the VA in San Francisco and exploring and learning alternative healing modalities which I used on him: Reiki, Pranic Healing, aroma therapy, accu-pressure, EFT etc. At some point, I lost my medical insurance and could no longer continue with medications or Therapy. I cold-tukeyed from the meds and did my best to hang on until he passed away.

His departure became my awakening oddly enough. He parted me with Life’s secrets and Universal Knowledge. I started volunteering at the Hospice that took care of him. I was offered employment teaching Volunteers to sit with the dying. I took Shamanic classes and soon realized that Death, was my bridge back to Life. I explored and accepted my intuitive abilities, empathetic gifts, my ability to communicate with those who left me and resided on the other side. I learned to walk both worlds, as I was instructed how, by those I sat with and helped to transition. I accompanied them on their Journey and got to peak beyond the Gates, but made to wait outside, as it was not my time. I became a certified Death Doula and conducted Workshops on taking care of ourselves while taking care of the dying and helping those in the Grieving process on how to reclaim their lives. I lost my passion to do art but it was replaced for my passion to be to service to those who are marginalized, misunderstood and misplaced within this narrow-minded Culture.

After 5 years of grieving William’s loss, my artwork and my passion for Life has returned with a vengeance. Another gift granted. It made me realize and accept that EVERYTHING is this Life, on this PLANE is temporary. The good, the bad AND the UGLY. I have learned to Embrace it ALL. I am Grateful and humbled. And so it is…

Tee’s beautiful Landscape entitled ‘Placerville’ depicts the magical land where he and William had planned to build their dream home together.

Placerville will be a contender in the cover design for the official #Emerging Proud commemorative book:

Would you like to submit a piece of art for consideration for the book cover? Submitted designs will go to a public vote at the end of March.

Contact me via this website if you’d like to take part…

Thank you Tee, for your open heartfelt sharing ❤

A LIMITED EDITION BOOK, FEATURING THE PERSONAL STORIES OF THOSE WHO HAVE #EMERGED PROUD TO TALK ABOUT NORMALISING MENTAL DISTRESS CAUSED BY SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES, WILL GO TO PRINT IN APRIL READY FOR THE BIG LAUCH DAY ON 12th MAY…

WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR ARTWORK TO FEATURE ON THE BOOK COVER, WITH A DEDICATION TO YOU, TO BE SEEN INTERNATIONALLY?
YOU COULD BE ONE OF ONLY 100 PEOPLE WORLDWIDE TO OWN YOUR PERSONAL SIGNED COPY OF THE OFFICIAL HARD BACK COMMEMORATIVE #EMERGING PROUD CAMPAIGN BOOK!

*Please note cover design will change according to the winning designer.

A4 PERFECT BOUND FULL COLOUR LIMITED EDITION BOOKS ARE AVAILABLE FOR PRE- ORDER at only **£49.99 including international postage and personal message.

(**All proceeds go towards the campaign costs)

To find out how to reserve your copy before they sell out, please CONTACT ME with your request. I will then send you ordering instructions.

If you would like your artwork to feature in this historical print, then please CONTACT ME.

Bryony Rogers, from Lancaster in the UK, #EmergesProud to tell us about her journey:

After a number of years exploring Goddess energies (which started in my teens and led to my more aware explorations in my twenties) I had a series of visions in the late nineties – the first came to me as I lay floating in a river at a Summer camp and a giant Spirit Eagle came and hovered above me.  He told me ‘Trust, you are Held’, and transmitted a powerful light into my whole body, in a spiritual consummation. This powerful experience opened me up and strengthened my sense of my intuition.

I was guided to live in Findhorn in 1999, where I experienced a rapid awakening at the time of the solar eclipse and started to channel a lot of guidance. Some of this, and the guidance that has come since, has been extremely beautiful and helpful. I have shared some of it on my Song of Awakening website. I saw and communicated with angels and experienced a powerful feeling of the Divine, and the harmony and Oneness of all life.  This experience lasted strongly for about 5 months.

This was eventually followed by some more difficult things. I had an all body experience of being trapped in the earth unable to breathe and I came out of this screaming. I now understand this to be related to my connection to the pain of the Earth mother. I had several huge apocalyptic visions of the end of the world and alien invasion, and was in a crisis state for a number of weeks. Communication was very difficult for me and I was briefly hospitalized.

In the subsequent years I have had repeated experiences of deep opening. After my relationship broke up in 2005, these have been generally followed by crisis and hospitalization. I see now that the lack of deep emotional support made this traumatic occurrence more likely.  In recent years I worked with friends to try to develop a sustainable support network, but this only had limited success. However, in September 2016 I went into crisis state again, after just having met the man who is now my partner. His support, combined with the presence of a supportive flatmate, held me through my crisis time and it healed itself after 5 weeks.

I am feeling deeply connected to the Earth and to my ongoing Awakening journey now. I feel positive about the future. I have returned to film-making and am working on an inspiring documentary project that explores the healing power of Nature, which has been so important to me in my journey. This file will be called Nature as Medicine.  Please look it on Facebook and Indiegogo and support it any way you can.  I am also continuing to work with sacred song and meditation, both in my daily life and in the circles I lead and the groups I am part of.

I access the unitive state again when I connect to Nature, or to great community initiatives like this one, and sense the huge power of the amazing field of life we are all part of.  I remember that I am held, just like the Spirit Eagle reminded me those years ago.

You can find more about Bryony and her work at:

 www.songofawakening.org.uk

www.Facebook.com/natureasmedicine

www.twitter.com/bryonytree 

www.twitter.com/Natureasmedicineproject@gmail.com

www.movingessence.net

Please check out Bryony’s Indiegogo campaign for her ‘Nature as Medicine’ documentary:

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/nature-as-medicine-documentary-science/x/15913695

Thank you Bryony, for bravely telling your story, and for your work to help others heal x