#Emerging Proud day on 12th May 2019 is set to be extra special; we be launching our Kinda Proud  book, #Emerging Proud through NOTEs, spearheaded by the inspirational Dr Nicole Gruel, and together hosting an online event and encouraging worldwide conversations around the topic of NOTEs (Non- ordinary transcendent experiences)…

Will you join us and help to bring voices to the collective?

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT HOW TO HOST YOUR OWN #EMERGING PROUD DAY EVENT

Access all you need to host your own FREE event, or call in on the day to join in our live – streamed event… more details on that to follow in the coming months…

Let’s spread some magic together; we CAN create the change we wish to see in the world through the power of our authentic stories… 2019 is the year for stories to be told ❤

I am soooooo excited to announce that, with the incredible support of the heart – centred Publishing company, That Guy’s House , we have decided to set up a publishing imprint especially for our Kinda Proud book series, AND budding #Emerging Proud Authors!

This will be a not- for-profit set- up, with 100% of the royalties going to purchase Kinda Proud books for distribution to those in need of messages of HOPE… 

In time, we intend to also offer those of you who have #Emerged Proud and are keen to write your own books, the opportunity to publish under our publishing arm, also keeping 100% of your royalties… more on that later!

For now, we would love for you to vote on which name you think is most fitting…

CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR YOUR CHOICE OF NAME

More often than not it can take an existential crisis to discover who we truly are, beneath all of our old coping mechanisms that we use to repress pain we are not ready to feel. Amanda shares how her life crisis has turned out to be her biggest blessing; it has led her to discover who she truly is, and not only is she living her authentic version of herself, she has finally learned to love herself too!

Rise up in Love

Connect to the magic of Hummingbird and the sweet nectar of life

My journey of falling in love with myself began when my 17 year relationship and marriage broke down and ultimately, came to an end. My entire life as I knew it had fallen apart.

Shortly after the separation I discovered certain truths that led me to feel deceived and betrayed. The rejection I felt was gut wrenching. The whole situation brought up my old story of feeling unlovable and replaceable.

My heart shattered into a million pieces.

It felt like my life had ended.

It felt like someone had died.

It felt like I had lost a part of my body.

I was totally heartbroken.

I felt unworthy.

I felt ashamed.

I felt like a failure.

I felt scared.

I felt guilty.

The list of self-loathing emotions I felt towards myself was endless.

For a long while getting out of bed in the morning was the biggest struggle.

I felt hopeless, a terrible mother, my body was gripped in such deep grief and pain that I literally felt like I couldn’t move.

I couldn’t even think about tomorrow without feeling anxious and panicky.  

Over the years I had developed an addiction to recreational drugs which I felt so much shame over.

I didn’t really know how to go out and enjoy myself without it.

I had no idea who I was.

I hadn’t supported myself financially for 14 years.

At 42 years old…I had no idea how to start a new life on my own.

But deep down inside I had a knowing.

A knowing that this was right and happening for me.

A knowing that this was an opportunity to rise up and connect to my authentic self.

I remember the day that woke me up and urged me to begin rebuilding myself and my life.

I was in bed and had barely been out of my room for a while. My daughter came over and made me get up and go see a friend. When I got back later, she had gone, my house was spotless and on my freshly made bed was a note saying… “Tomorrow is a new day. I love you.” I sobbed as my heart filled with love and gratitude for the love, beauty, compassion and wisdom she had shown me. My baby girl, now a young woman had reminded me of love, unconditional love and I decided at that moment to begin my journey back to loving myself.

I had to for my children.

I had to for myself.

It has been 2 years from the life I knew falling apart, to sitting here sharing my story.

In these 2 years, I have become a Forrest Yoga teacher, a bodyworker and healer, a transformational life coach. I moved and created a beautiful new home for myself and my kids. I started my own business, I met my twin flame, and most importantly I have fallen deeply in love with myself and my life. When I look back, I feel so much gratitude, so much pride  at how far I’ve come.

So how did I do it?

How did I turn my life around?

First, I made a commitment that no matter what, I was going to stay in a place of love and live from my heart.

I learnt to stop living in the past, repeating stories and create a beautiful new life.

I learnt to receive and give love unconditionally.

I learnt to forgive myself and everyone else involved.

I learnt to connect to the true authentic expression of me and be it unapologetically.

I committed to leading by example and show my children that it is possible to rise above anger, resentment and bitterness into unconditional love.

I committed to living with integrity and grace.

I committed to loving harder than any other negative emotion, embody and BE love.

Secondly, I chose to take responsibility for what had happened in my life, for my own happiness and not play into victimhood and drama anymore.

To be responsible for and change my behaviour, habits and stories connected to the imprints of my past that were clearly no longer serving me.

I overcame my addictions to drama, behaviour and stories of a lifetime. I had to get clear and conscious of what they were in order to catch myself, interrupt the pattern and change it.

Thirdly I practiced dreaming about how I wanted my future to look.

How I  wanted to feel.

Who I wanted to be.

What I wanted to do.

Why I wanted to do it.

I practiced and embodied how my future self would act, feel and be and made a commitment to be that person every day. I learnt tools to support me to overcome those moments when my past self would try and draw me back.

Everyday I practiced, committed and invested wholeheartedly into being my future self until it was more of a habit than being my past self.

And when I fell from grace, I owned it, made amends, forgave myself, loved myself and started again. I chose to never give up.

I  surrendered to the deeply uncomfortable and painful emotions I had repressed my whole life.

I leaned right into vulnerability.

I chose to rise up out of victimhood and into empowerment.

I chose to embody and FEEL deep gratitude and love for every experience, not only the joyful ones.

I chose to open my heart fully and commit to living, breathing and being my future self every single day.

Thank you Amanda for shining your bright light and helping others to #Emerge Proud as their authentic Selves ❤

Amanda is based in Norwich, UK,  where she lives and works. Her work is about empowering her clients in their own healing, in order to fall in love with oneself and their life–Rising up in love and living from the heart.  Amanda holds classes, workshops, courses, retreats in person and online. She also works one-on-one with clients empowering them in their healing and in their lives.

CLICK HERE FOR AMANDA’S WEBSITE 

Contact: amandahummingbird@gmail.com

Does Amanda’s experience resonate with your own? 

Would you like to share your story for Nicole’s KindaProud book, #EmergingProud through NOTES? 

Please contact us here to find out how. 

As Katie from Wiltshire, UK, so rightly states; ‘recovery’ from any form of psychological distress is never perfect, linear or uncomplicated… 

However, we can still have things to be proud of amidst the journey; any achievements help to build confidence and bring us a step closer to transforming our lives.

Here Katie shares how creating her Fight Club pin badges in collaboration with BEAT  has given her something to not only be proud of, but has connected her to others who are openly commited to overcoming their own struggles, to show they are not alone…

Recovery is a strange concept when applied to an eating disorder. By definition, recovery means “a return to a normal state of health, mind or strength” but, as I and many like me know, there is likely never going to be a complete abolition of our eating disorder. They are so unhelpfully entwined with our identities, our self-esteem, our subconscious, that to assume they disappear completely is, sadly, just unrealistic.

I say this with a painfully fresh perspective. 7 months ago I was fully “recovered,” yet now I am stuck in a full-blown relapse. It caught me completely off-guard and I still can’t quite get my head around the fact it’s happening. It is the first time I have ever relapsed completely, and I was truly in a place where I believed that anorexia would never affect me again. It was just a painful, sad, distant memory. I am a Mother to 2 young children, and of course Mums don’t get anorexia, it completely undermines a Mother’s inbuilt instinct to put her children first. So when I finally decided to undertake a “healthy eating plan” early in 2018, I never believed that it would escalate into anything more. How wrong I was. Anorexia quickly sunk its claws in, tightened its grip, and took me over.

I am all too conscious that this seems a very negative start to something intended to incite hope, but the point I want to make is that when it comes to recovery, it pays to be realistic. It is seldom perfect, linear and uncomplicated. Allow yourself bad days, weeks even, as long as your resolve is there. Don’t put pressure on yourself to recover perfectly, you know, the way people on Instagram recover, emerging from the dark as a beautiful butterfly and conveniently with the budget for 5 star hotel breaks and Michelin star meals. Recovery is whatever it looks like to you. This could be a night out with the girls without a single care about the sugar in the cocktails, a meal out with your family without the anxiety and forward planning, an ice cream on the beach with your children without worrying about them trying to kiss you with their ice cream-covered mouths.

Remaining hopeful during recovery can be one of the biggest challenges. It is such a gruelling and often lengthy process that remaining optimistic and even remembering the end goal can feel impossible. This is why, straight off the back of watching a harrowing documentary on anorexia, I decided to try and do something to help support anyone suffering. I came up with the idea of designing pin badges – a small, subtle, portable reminder that you’re committed to recovery, and not alone.

I approached the wonderful charity Beat to see if they’d be interested in getting involved and attaching their name to my project. To my wonderment, they responded , and with such enthusiasm that I decided to take the plunge. This was uncharacteristically bold of me, as my self doubt usually results in me ducking out of anything that’s remotely risky or reliant on my success. With the target of getting them ready for EDAW (Eating Disorders Awareness Week) in place, I went about designing them.

My work as an artist is largely influenced by nature, and I knew I wanted the pin badges to stay in keeping with this. I also really enjoy using symbolism, which suited the fact I wanted them to be subtle. I started thinking about the key messages I wanted to convey, not forgetting those supporting us, because they have it hard too. I started with dogwood, which symbolises love undiminished by adversity. This is a nod to the carers, families and friends who have to deal with someone they love trying to self-destruct, often whilst transforming into a completely different person, but being there regardless. Not through force or out of duty, but because they love you so much and are committed to your happiness.

Next I wanted to use a mushroom to symbolise resilience. This one is fairly self-explanatory. It’s no secret that recovering from an eating disorder is exceptionally difficult. If you are attempting to take on an eating disorder, you are already stronger than you think.

Finally, there’s the moth, which symbolises intuition. Our intuition is a powerful and mystical tool that enables us to judge when something just isn’t right. Trust yourself and your intuition in your recovery, harness your own voice to help empower yourself and belittle the eating disorder. If you’re in contact with somebody struggling, and you think something doesn’t seem right, it probably isn’t. Don’t be afraid to confront this, they’ll thank you eventually for finding them out.

Thanks to Beat sharing my badges, and through my own promotion, over 300 fighters have purchased a badge. I couldn’t be more thrilled with the response and every time I send one out, I feel proud of that person for acknowledging the struggle and taking it on. I have one on every one of my coats, and whenever I catch a glimpse of it in a mirror or window I can smile for a second and remember that I’m part of an amazing club of people fighting to make life better.

I will continue to fight and share my journey. I am starting treatment imminently and with the support of my partner pushing through what I hope has been the lowest point of this relapse. I hope to look back on this relapse as a reminder that I need to put myself first sometimes, keep my wits about me, and never underestimate an eating disorder or, more importantly, myself.

If you would like to find me on social media, or purchase a Fight Club pin badge, the links below will get you there!

Love to you all, we can do this together ❤

Well done for #Emerging Proud Katie; we’re with you all the way! 

CLICK HERE FOR KATIE’s WEBSITE 

Follow her: @edfightclub on Instagram and Twitter

Does Katie’s story resonate with your own experience? 

Would you like to share your story for Amy’s KindaProud book, #EmergingProud through disordered eating, body image and low self-esteem? 

Please contact Amy to find out how by contacting her at: info@soul-shine.org.uk

I’m excited to be hosting a FREE CRAZYWISE screening with Phil Borges in Ipswich on the 7th Jan thanks to the Suffolk User Forum being so pro- active

CLICK HERE TO BOOK YOUR FREE TICKET

Come along for the live Q+A and hear all about the Crazywise Conversations from Phil… We’ll be asking;

“What resources are needed in mental health to better support these processes?”

CLICK HERE TO BOOK YOUR FREE TICKET

Have your say:

Are you emerging into 2019 proud of overcoming a difficult time in your life?

Do you have a personal transformation story to share to inspire others that there is light at the end of what can be a very dark tunnel? 

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT HOW TO SHARE YOUR STORY

for our not-for-profit book series;

Our first 4 books currently being created and due for publication in 2019 are;

#Emerging Proud through Suicide

#Emerging Proud through NOTES (Non- Ordinary Transcendent Experiences)

# Emerging Proud through disordered eating, body image and low-self-esteem

#Emerging Proud through trauma and abuse

All proceeds from book sales will be used to provide free books to hospital wards and mental health facilities throughout the UK and Internationally, in order to inject some much – needed hope for someone during their most difficult times.

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT HOW TO SHARE YOUR STORY

 « Know Thyself » Socrates

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” 

 Jiddu Krishnamurti

Does Diane’s story resonate with yours? Would you like to share your transformation story? 

To appear on the blog and in Nicole’s KindaProud book, #EmergingProud through NOTEs

Please contact us here 

My name is Diane Gagné, I’m 49 years old and mother of 2 beautiful young adults of 21 and 19 years old. I’ve been married 25 years to a wonderful man, my guardian angel, as I like to name him.

When I was a child, I was very imaginative, always in my comic books, a very enthusiastic kid. I grew up in a family where I was alone with my parents, because my brother of 18 years my elder, had already left the family home. My father was older than my friend’s fathers, and I was a privileged person. I was very happy all the time and a little bit blind of the jealousy of my friends. So, when at 9, I became menstruate and started to grow up to became a woman in approximately 6 months, I didn’t notice the attention of the boys on me and the jealousy of my friends. I started to be bullied, and the end of my primary school and the beginning of the high school were very tough. When my father died of cancer when I was 16, it was very painful and I “crashed” for the first time.

I met my husband at age 18, but we had to live separately during our studies. When we finally settled down together it was very very far from our hometown, because my husband was post there, and after that received an offer to start a business with partners. So we decided to make our life an 8 hour drive away from our families. We raised our child alone with no help most of the time, with 2 careers difficult to balance. I was a lawyer and I worked most of my career as a Crown Attorney. I struggled a lot with the difficulty to balance job, family and a very sensitive part of me, a part that was having a lot of troubles to deal with the misery that I was seeing in my job. I did lots of files of sexual assault and physical abuse on children. At 35 years old I received a bipolar disorder diagnosis and I started to take medication. Lots of medication was tried. I had a hard time with medication and to stabilize my moods. I was always flitting between depression and hypomanic states. I never had a psychosis but a lot of little manic states where I was very high, irritable and spent a lot of money. In 2010 I changed my job and worked in human resources, less stressful, 4 days a week job. It was better, but not so much. In 2013 I started to practice running and it helped too, but I had an intestinal obstruction in 2014 and almost died from it. I had to stop running for a few months and 1 year later I had to stop again for a hernia. Each time I stopped running, I experienced a little depression. All this “mess” built up in 2016 when I had a mixed state: depression and manic symptoms at the same time. It was horrible and in July of this this year, I made a suicide attempt.

Someone didn’t seem to want me yonder, but after that, I was completely lost. Lost, weak and I didn’t know what to do with my life. I had memory breaks, difficulty concentrating and other cognitive difficulties, so I started to meditate. I was ready to try everything to help me. But I was a skeptical person, really down to earth and I stopped believing in God after the death of my father. When I was young I was practicing; close to God and Jesus, but when I lost my father, I closed the door on religion.

Anyway, meditation was very difficult at the beginning, I was unable to concentrate on music or guided meditation. So, after few days, I threw all this away and I decided to just listen. Listen inside, all those thoughts spinning all the time in my head… I listened; I took conscience of them more and more every day and rapidly, one day, they stopped. They stopped for a few minutes and they started again! But, I realized that it was always the same thoughts playing like a tape in my head. And, during that little break to rewind the tape, something “magic” started to happen. I felt something inside me, a kind of energy flowing from the bottom of me, rising in my head and the feeling was incredible! I felt calm, at peace. So, I started to meditate more and more. After few months of that, I started to have some strange experiences of voices and guidance in my meditations and few weeks after that I experienced a Kundalini awakening. Since then, my life has completely changed, for the better… but also the worst at the beginning! It was, at first, a complete changed of perspective of life in few days, a huge break on the ego and the merge of a new state of consciousness. But, also lot of psychic manifestations, quite similar to a psychosis state. I flirted between those two states for many months and when I started to realize what was really happening to me: a spiritual awakening, I started to live it, in the most troubling way for me, in the mystic way. I experimented an enormous call to God, something that I really didn’t understand and something very confronting for me, as I didn’t believe anymore in God. In almost 2 years, slowly but surely, I broke all my skepticism and my conditioning, about my beliefs of life but mainly about myself. I discovered that I was not that sick person that I had become with years, completely identified with my diagnosis. I was not that person who always did what people expected of me, and I was not that person; unconfident, dragging her guilt and her sadness like a second skin.

I discovered I’m a light, a beautiful shining light, living her life free of all conditioning as days passed and wanting to help people to do the same thing, to discover what we all have inside of us. We are all connected to life, in a way that we cannot imagine and, some people feel that connection at a deeper level, an unconscious one, in a way that can be suffering. With time, they become disconnected from themselves, which causes more suffering or increased manifestations like voices or visions. After 2 years travelling into conscience, I completely changed my perception of mental illness and want to tell to people suffering in life: “You are not alone, in fact, you have the whole universe inside you!”

With help, a lot of work on yourself and patience, you can discover this beautiful gift inside you. If I did it, you can. Slowly but surely, one day at a time, you can discover your own light and make it shine in your life. Find your path and an exit of mental suffering. This experience was extremely confronting for me: I struggled with visions, voices and many manifestations, I rediscovered God, but finally, at the end, I found peace and joy but especially, I found my true self.

Find out more about Diane’s work here (website in French);

Does Diane’s story resonate with yours? Would you like to share your transformation story? 

To appear on the blog and in Nicole’s KindaProud book, #EmergingProud through NOTEs

Please contact us here 

BOOM! The Power of NOTEs by Dr Nicole Gruel is now available worldwide through Amazon Kindle.

Of course, you can still order a personally signed hard copy direct from Nicole here too!

Would you like to share YOUR NOTE for our next joint book project? 

To appear in Nicole’s KindaProud book, #EmergingProud through NOTEs

Please contact us here