Alina is Kinda Proud that her struggles have given her the strength to develop hope and belief in herself

At only 19, Alina has already experienced a lifetime of chronic illness, but rather than let it destroy her spirit, she is proud to be focusing on her dreams and accepting of any natural emotions that surface along the way… We are proud of you too Alina!

Alina

The Girl with a Story

Hello, my name’s Alina and My story begins on the 16th July 2017. It’s the day my entire life changed. It’s the day my upper limb gave up on me. It’s the day I could no longer fend for myself, take care of myself, do anything for myself. From that very day on, I slowly lost the ability to fully function all of my limbs like I used to be able to. From that very day on, life had completely and utterly changed for me. I was eventually diagnosed with a lifelong, auto-immune chronic nerve pain illness – Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. I never knew pain could be so debilitating, so excruciating. My entire life had changed in under 24 hours.

As you can imagine, being left bed-bound, unable to fend for myself, unable to do anything for myself, had a horrible negative effect on my mental health. There was (and still is) no cure for my illness – I was simply a 16-year-old who spent most of her time in hospital or in bed, crying her eyes out. I tried to fight through the pain, but I was not getting anywhere. I felt suffocated. I was living a life I did not want to live. I struggled to cope with what life was throwing at me. I developed anxiety and experienced months of sadness. I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I did not want to be alive with all this pain anymore.

Prior to developing my illness, I had always been a happy, hard working person. I always wanted to strive to be the best at whatever it was I was doing – I was a little perfectionist. I loved studying and wanted to go to university one day to pursue my dreams. I was due to start sixth form in September 2017 and I was determined to get there – I just didn’t know how. With the amazing support of my parents and teachers, I managed to get myself into sixth form on most days. There were days where I could not physically make it to school. There were days where I physically could not make it to my lessons. I always tried my best and I am so grateful for the teachers who supported me. However, school had not always been positive for me. As I physically look completely fine, many of my peers did not believe I was battling a chronic illness. I heard constant remarks about myself from others. I had constant remarks being made about how I was ‘faking’ my illness, how I was ‘pretending for attention’. As you can imagine, this slowly was, both mentally and physically, destroying me. It took me a very long time before I was able to stand up for myself. There came a day where I had simply had enough of all the hurtful remarks, of physically being pushed around, of mentally being hurt by these people. I finally stood my ground and told them to leave me alone, to let me be. It was the most frightening thing I had ever done but deep down I knew it was the only way I could get my point across, the only way I’d be able to make school life better for myself.

All of these events had made my anxiety and sadness worse. I was beginning to struggle even more with learning to cope with the pain and over the last few years, I was diagnosed with more conditions and was experiencing more symptoms. I am now 19 and suffer from Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Widespread Pain, IBS symptoms, Anxiety and I am also being investigated for POTS, a tachycardia syndrome. I have come a very long way with dealing with my debilitating pains and symptoms. I have taught myself how to use my limbs again, how to walk again. It has been the most difficult few years of my life, but I am so grateful for it all. Islam has played a huge part in helping me learn how to cope. I began to see my illnesses as a blessing rather than a curse. Praying helps me to get through my days. Of course, to this day, there are still times where I am so mentally and physically drained from trying to manage everything, from trying to fight through the pain, from trying to keep going, but I try my very best. During these times, I try to give myself time and space to ‘heal’, to cope with what I am going through.

If there is one thing that my chronic illness and mental health struggles has taught me, it is the fact that everyone has something they are going through behind closed doors. Kindness is something that does not cost a penny yet many still choose to not use it. By going through what I have and am still going through, I have become a much more understanding person. Life isn’t always easy but if there’s one thing that I know and strongly believe in, it’s that no soul is put through more than they can handle. This life is a test and those who have the hardest tests in this life have rewards waiting for them on the other end that are beyond what you can even imagine. I always try my best to remember this and most of the time it gets me through my days. However, there are still days where, no matter how positive I try to be, I cannot help but break down, I cannot help but cry and that’s okay! It is unhealthy for someone to have no ‘bad’ days, it is unhealthy for someone to remain positive 24/7. You have to let yourself let out all your emotions. Having a ‘bad day’ does not make you weak, it simply shows you how incredibly strong you really are.

During my first year and a half of diagnosis, I struggled so very much to cope with life, school, my education etc. As I mentioned earlier, I did not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I did not have much hope for my future. However, I did not give up. I kept pushing through, every single day, and I still do. I have now just finished my sixth form studies and am due to start university in a few months to pursue my dreams Insha’Allah.

I never ever thought I’d be where I am now. I never ever imagined myself to have gotten myself this far. Hope and belief in yourself is something that is so very important. Never give up! You can handle whatever it is you are going through; I promise you that. Be kind to yourself, look after yourself, put yourself first – these are things I am still working on, but I know they are very important.

I have an Instagram page set up ( @thegirlwithastory__ ) to raise awareness of chronic illness and to be part of a support network if anyone needs it.

Do you identify as a Muslim having been through emotional distress which has made you stronger? Would you like to join Alina and the other brave voices aiming to end this silent stigma and #Emerge Proud for your own community and humanity united?

CONTACT US HERE to find out how to share your story 

CLICK HERE for more information 

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29 Responses to Alina is Kinda Proud that her struggles have given her the strength to develop hope and belief in herself

  1. MH says:

    What an inspirational read. It always seems like our own problems are massive, and then we read about others, that make us humble and grateful for what we have. Keep doing what you do, keep being the motivational person you are, keep being YOU.. I hope you will continue to do your parents proud… University? Here she come.. ! Grrrr #thegirlwithastory #nevergiveup

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Iqra afzal says:

    Such A Proud Girl For Us For Muslims For All Those Peoples Who Hopeless And Don’t Try For Self… Alina We Are Proud Of You..Your Story Such A Inspiration For me For All…My Duas For You…KeeP It Up My Dear One Day Your Dreams Will Come True… And In sha Allah You Will Enjoyed Your Young Life….Love YOu So Much!!///

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sumbal says:

    Awwhh such an emotional story but mashallah so proud of how you’ve faced your troubles… May Allah always keep you strong and let no harm come your way… You’ve still got so much to live to so never let anything or anyone come your way.. stay strong and make your parents proud xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lubna Zahoor says:

    Well done Alina May Allah gives u more strength and be sure to use ur strengths and abilities in a good way and betterment of humanity.As a mother of teenagers myself I know how it’s hard for kids to be accepted of their abilities.but be positive do pray to the one a d only Allah all mighty who is more kinder toward

    Like

  5. Bushra Nasir says:

    Masha’Allah, you are such a well spoken, brave person – truly an inspiration! Your resilience and empathy is astounding. Thank you for sharing your story through this inspiring read, I hope this can teach people to be kinder as, as you said, you never know what someone is going through behind closed doors. May Allah bless you with good health and happiness so you achieve all that you have dreamt, and more insha’Allah.

    Like

    • Alina says:

      Ameen! Thankyou so so much! I’m so grateful for all your dua’s and support. I cannot Thankyou enough 😭 it’s comments like these that help me to keep strong and keep fighting! 💜

      Like

  6. Saiqa Rasool says:

    Aslamaalykum Mashallah you are a strong girl.allah paak protect You every where .i don’t now how can I say but you’re a example for every Muslim girl even everyone.you are brave and stongr girl😘😘😘😘my best wishes with you

    Like

  7. Sarina says:

    An inspiring and heart-warming read, beautifully narrated. Thank you for sharing your story which will no doubt motivate and give hope to others who are suffering with mental and physical health conditions. Alina I’m very proud of you and hope you continue to help others as well as yourself. Keep positive and keep strong and InshaaAllah you will thrive in your journey.

    Like

    • Alina says:

      Thankyou so so much!!! Your endless amounts of love and support help me so so much more than you know! Thankyou so much for always praying for me too, I’ll forever be grateful! 💜💜

      Like

  8. Mumtaz amin says:

    I must say reading your story bought tears to my eyes. It reminded me about my daughter who is deaf and at the age of 16 not long after my mothers death. We found out my daughter lost her sight. Like you had dreams but was hard to fulfil . She would sit there and cry her heart out. But remember one thing as long as you have your wonderful family and allah never give up. So proud of you . Allah puts his best through tests. I know your nan very well and where ever she goes she would pray for you. Your very gifted remember that. Sending you lots of love and duas. Carry on never give up.

    Like

    • Fatima Noor says:

      Your story is just so inspiring. Life is all about triumphs and defeats, happiness and saddness. You face alot of challenges in life but the only thing that keeps you going is SELF-CONFIDENCE & DETERMINATION. You are a real hero my girl! The way you have accepted your challenge and have decided to fight with it is just speechless. More power to you sweetheart! So proud of you. Stay strong and stay blessed!<3 ❤

      Like

    • Alina says:

      Aww thankyou so much! Bless her! I totally understand. May Allah swt bless her with a long and healthy life Insha’Allah and I pray she gets everything she wants in life and more! I’ll forever be here for her if you ever wants to reach out. And you’re most definitely right, this life is a test. Thankyou so so much for this lovely comment, it means everything to me! 💜

      Like

  9. Fatima Noor says:

    Your story is just so inspiring. Life is all about triumphs and defeats, happiness and saddness. You face alot of challenges in life but the only thing that keeps you going is SELF-CONFIDENCE & DETERMINATION. You are a real hero my girl! The way you have accepted your challenge and have decided to fight with it is just speechless. More power to you sweetheart! So proud of you. Stay strong and stay blessed!<3 ❤

    Like

    • Alina says:

      Thankyou so so much! Reading all these comments is bringing me to tears! I’m so grateful to have everyone’s support and love! It truly means everything to me! 💜

      Like

  10. Mandy says:

    Dearest Alina, your story resonates so deeply with me. My son developed CRPS in his right knee on 23 July, 2017. Exactly a week after you. He was 14 at the time.
    Your story of school life, people not understanding or believing are so true. He was also told he was faking. That coupled with the excruciating pain was destructive.
    He had some amazing teachers though (some not so great!) Who gave him and us the space to take care of his mental and physical well being first. The pain of CRPS is registered as higher than unassisted birth pains on the McGills threshhold of pain guide. But you, my son and 100s with the condition suffer pain every moment of every day. My eyes are welled up with tears for your courage, your kindness and tolerance of those around you who have been unkind. Congratulations 10 000 on your successes and achievements.
    We are not Muslim, we serve Jesus, however our journey is the same. In December 2017 Red Cross Hospital said they wanted to hospitalise my son from January 8th. He was petrified of being away from us, especially in his weakened state caused by constant pain. He broke down and declared that with God’s help he was going to get over the pain, conquer CRPS, ignore the pain, mind over matter.
    I want to encourage you that he is now pain free. From. February 2018 it started lessening. He was then filled with huge anxiety but we sought out a psychologist who had a little experience with CRPS patients. Last year was his first ‘proper’ year. This year he has lost all the weight he put on from not being able to move, and from medications.
    Sorry for my long message but I was ‘shocked’ at your date : someone at the same time going through this anguish. But most importantly to celebrate and encourage you to not give up fighting CRPS. It can go into remission. We believe through my son’s experience that you can be healed. Keep believing, beautiful lady. Keep living life wonderfully. You are in our prayers xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Alina says:

      Hello Mandy,
      Thankyou ever so much for your kind words and prayers! It truly means the world to me! I’m so glad your son is doing a lot better, I pray it stays that way and continues to get better! He’s such an incredible, strong soul and my well wishes and prayers will forever be with him! Your comment truly means so much to me – I’m so so grateful to have received it along with the love and support. I hope you and your family are doing well and once again, thankyou for taking the time to read my story and give me hope! 💗

      Like

  11. Jamila says:

    Well done proud of u Alina love u may allah give u all the happiness in the world ameen u doing really well keep going faith on allah love u a lot when ever u need us we will b there for u ❤️❤️❤️

    Like

  12. Dr M. Imtiaz says:

    Alina beta you are the brave and gorgeous girl…. your story is hear touching. May Allah Pak bless you with good health and your all wishes come true. So impressive for me that by prayers you got relief. I hope u will keep stronger link with Allah through 5 prayers and one more Tahajjad. By praying tahajud Allah is very close to one who calls Him. So pray at tahajud for yourself, parents and grand parent and of course for me & my family. Its good idea that you are inspiring others in need with your magical words. So Proud of you. Be brave and only bow to Allah and Allah will remove all your worries. Our prayers are with you. Love from your nana!

    Like

  13. Dr M. Imtiaz says:

    Alina beta you the brave and gorgeous girl…. your story is hearttouching. May Allah Pak bless you with good health and your all wishes come true. So impressive for me that by prayers you got relief. I hope you will keep stronger link with Allah through 5 prayers and one more Tahajjad. By praying tahajud Allah is very close to one who calls Him. So pray at tahajud for yourself, parents and grandparent and of course for me & my family. Its good idea, you are motivating the people in need through your magical words. So Proud of you. Be brave and only bow to Allah and Allah will remove all your worries. Our prayers are with you. Lots of love from your Nana.

    Like

    • Alina says:

      Aww thankyou so so much! Ameen! Your kind words and dua’s mean everything to me! I really am so so grateful for this all! 💜😭

      Like

  14. Abida Hayat says:

    This was truly a very inspirational read. You have been through so much and always managed to keep your head up, continue believing in Allah as everything happens for a reason. It may not be clear now but it will be in the future. May Allah bless you with a beautiful and successful life.

    Like

  15. Abida Hayat says:

    This was truly a very inspirational read. You have been through so much and always managed to keep your head up, continue believing in Allah as everything happens for a reason. It may not be clear now but it will be in the future. May Allah bless you with a beautiful and successful life.

    Like

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