It’s not uncommon to hear the phrase “I’m dying” in psychiatric wards around the world, and when you look at it through the lens of spirtitual emergency, it’s not at all surprising. As Arushka so astutely says; sometimes we have to allow our old selves to die in order to truly live.
Once diagnosed with ‘acute psychosis’, Arushka now understands that she was going through a painful healing process in order to become a more authentic expression of herself. As Arushka says, this process isn’t at all easy, but it could be easier if better understood and more compassionately supported. The ‘spiritual bypass’ phase which Arushka also mentions may also be unnecessary if people were supported to delve into their pain appropriately. Thankfully, Arushka found her way through, and is #EmergingProud to tell her story…
It was almost two years ago that Katie first offered for me to write a blog for Emerging Proud and to share my version of ‘Crazy’ with you. It has taken this long to uncover the blocks inside me so that I can do this.
So here I am, emerging proud through the crisis of spiritual emergency into the gift of spiritual emergence. Exactly 6 years ago I went through what was labelled by western medicine as an acute psychotic episode or as the forward thinking term a spiritual emergency or a spontaneous kundalini awakening. For me, it was a call from my soul to break the chains that bound me to dysfunctional patterning and toxic behaviour. It gave me a glimpse of how life might be freed from the past and the conditioning of my persona. It was blissful and absolutely terrifying as the layers of my ego were stripped away, I thought I was going to die, and in ways I did. My life has been so very different since. I once said to my mediation teacher “it seems that I had to die in order to truly live”, he said that tended to be the way of things.
And though I am aware that my ego has not completely died and I am feeling back down at the bottom of the mountain; I am also aware this is just a thought. Walking a spiritual path is a lot harder than I once believed when I was in a state of spiritual bypass. I say this with love to myself as I sense spiritual bypass may be a necessary part of the journey, but now for me it is about being grounded, growing my roots and seeing how the one that I am wants to express herself in this world. I am so grateful for my spiritual emergency regardless of how traumatic it has been as it has brought me into connection with my true self and driven me to claim my own ground, something that is priceless.
If you are in the midst of a psycho-spiritual crisis at the moment – maybe you’ve lost all sense of who you are, or you’re being told you’re schizophrenic, deluded, the list of “disorders” goes on – please don’t give up. It doesn’t mean that you are crazy or that life will be like this forever. It is a phase leading you to a greater expression of yourself. Life will get better. Stay with the process, I know it’s not always easy. Love yourself through it, I know that’s not always easy either! Love what comes up, it is simply guiding you to what is asking for your presence and healing. Turn to face your demons, surrender and you may be amazed at how quickly they shift. Sending you so much love. I am with you.
The time we are living in seems to be a breakdown moment with the potential of breaking through to a new way of being. It feels really important that the more of us who know how to travel the path of individual breakdown to breakthrough and are able to give voice to it, the better! I look forward to hearing your voice.
Arushka’s video message to you all…
Thank you Arushka, for daring to emerge, and for sharing your beautiful authentic voice with the world ❤