Bev Pirie from Manchester quite literally sunk to rock bottom before she could ‘Trust’ in her intuitive spiritual wisdom. It took healing herself to train to become the provider of ‘messages of love and evidence that we do not die, but simply move on to a state of higher consciousness.’
Here Bev bravely shares her personal journey for Kelly’s KindaProud book; #Emerging Proud through suicide…
In February 2011 my world fell apart when a close friend suddenly passed away. The sense of loss I felt was so profound and I found it almost impossible to function or come to terms with their death. I was already having a difficult time with my own mental health prior to this event due to ongoing financial issues caused through our home and work. When I thought things couldn’t get any worse I was made aware of a potential life changing revelation which was to impact my marriage. The following week I lost another friend and I literally felt like I was being emotionally swallowed up. I was in shock and I wasn’t coping well.
I could see no end to our problems and I could only see grey in everything. I tried so hard to keep going but it became a daily battle between wanting to live and wanting to die. Prior to all these events happening, things had already been very difficult. I had been diagnosed with Hypothyroidism and Myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME), so my health had declined over the previous 5 years. I believe the constant stress and worries over our financial difficulties compounded things greatly. We had bought our home in 2002; a Victorian Semi, and little did we know it was going to become a monster that was constantly hungry.
I believe the next event was divinely timed to help give us a positive focus and keep me here; our daughter announced she was pregnant in May 2011. She was single and recently returned home. We needed and wanted to support her. The news was an unexpected shock, but we had a moment of happiness followed by a large reality check, the potential financial problems on an already desperate situation.
I tried to push things down and carry on. Our lives changed forever on the 7th December when our grandson was born. He gave us hope and for a short time I was able to put everything behind us.
Unfortunately things continued to get progressively worse over the next two years; having to cope with ever increasing debt, supporting our family, repairs on our home and the stress of my job resulting in a severe negative effect on my health. I had been trying to support everyone and keep it all together but I finally hit rock bottom and not even the joy of our grandson could help me. It had been almost three years of constant life changing events which I simply couldn’t take anymore.
I felt suicidal and had thoughts of; “Would I even be missed?”
Everything came to a head in September 2013. Myself and my husband had a horrendous row and I gave him an ultimatum. I can see now it was an emotional breakdown and everything came to the surface in that precise moment . I couldn’t carry on, we either had to sell the house or I had to leave before I gave up completely. I was consumed with depression and not even the anti- depressants were working.
I’d never felt so lost in all my life; I was so distraught I walked out of the house with my dog Sky. I was sobbing uncontrollably, the heavens opened and I was drenched to the bone. I found myself in the open field not far from where we lived and sat on the ground sobbing asking for help. I’d truly had enough, I was beyond lost, I was done, I was broken. I called upon the heavens and shouted;
“Help me God, help me Angels!” I was desperate and needed help. I was in such a dark place that I felt completely alone.
I do have a belief system that there is something greater than us. I was very spiritual but during this period I was totally consumed with depression and lost all faith in the divine.
I pulled myself up off the floor, completely drenched, and saw the most beautiful rainbow in the sky as I heard the word “TRUST” loudly in my mind. I was unsure if it was my imagination. I walked home in a daze, emotionally drained. I didn’t want another row, I was done but when I arrived home my husband was waiting for me. He took one look at me and said; “Let’s sell!”
We placed our house on the market in the late November and sold it January. We moved into our new home, finally debt free and things began to feel more hopeful. In that first year I began to open up more to my own spiritual pathway; so many synchronicities became apparent. I began to see and feel spirit more, and I knew that finally I could begin to embrace this gift and life.
I’d previously tried hard to ignore it and push it away, but as the weeks passed, I began to understand that my energy and my thoughts were beginning to change. The more I opened my heart, the more alive and joyful I felt.
I started to feel more aligned with life and things became very clear; I have work to do. I have to help bring love and light into our world, by helping those who feel lost or are in pain. I can help them through my Spiritual Readings. I was also drawn to be attuned to Usui Reiki so that I could give healing too.
During my meditations I was shown people coming to our home in great sadness and leaving uplifted. I could also help to empower others through workshops and healing circles.
So in 2016, I took a deep breath; a leap of faith you could call it. I created a Facebook page dedicated to my Mediumship and Healing. I submitted it and very quickly I took my first booking for a spiritual reading. In that precise moment I knew my life was going to change. I could not have foreseen how, and in so many unimaginable ways.
About me today :
In 2016 I opened up my Facebook page and very soon afterwards I was attuned to Usui Reiki level 1 & 2. I was so inspired and loving the new energy I was receiving. It was wonderful to help so many. Things started to become very busy and I finally made the decision to retire from work so that I could dedicate my life to helping others. I became a Usui Reiki Master/Teacher placing me in a position to help many in the future to be attuned themselves.
Today I work as a full time Spiritual Medium & Healer bringing messages of love and evidence that we do not die, but simply move on to a state of higher consciousness.
Recently I have been encouraged by my Spiritual team, my guiding voice, to run my own wellbeing retreats for those who are looking to tap into their own abilities, to take time to nurture and step out of life for a little while, allowing themselves to breathe, take stock and enjoy holistic treatments – meditation – mindfulness sessions.
I’m helping others to shine, to create, to believe in the beauty of life through workshops and healing days, and so much more.
I strive every day to be the best version of myself and to show others that you can overcome adversity, no matter how difficult things may be.
I’ve not experienced any depression or anxiety for almost 4 years since starting my spiritual journey.
The power of positivity is my life force and helps keep me lifted. I continue to shine my light. I have a purpose, a reason to continue on this path until it’s my time to go home, where I will carry all my experiences with me.
I heard the word * TRUST * and I do every day, in a higher loving force.
Does Bev’s story resonate with your own experience?
Would you like to share your story to give HOPE to others? Here’s how you can contact our KindaProud Reps…
For Kelly’s KindaProud book: #EmergingProud through Suicide
Please email Kelly at: firstname.lastname@example.org