How our childhood shapes our future

“Addictions are not only drugs or alcohol, they are any activity that temporarily distracts us from, or relieves our pain…” says Dr Gabor Mate in this brilliant interview. It seems that basically everything our human race relies on these days could be considered addictive – including social media and “love and light’ Spirituality, where we only focus on the positive in order to avoid facing our pain… (*hands up to being guilty of that one myself).

The question therefore should not be “why my addiction, but why my pain?” and why are the majority of the population addicted to something in what should be an evolved age? 

Suppression of reactive human pain; grief, destruction, anger, loss, became a necessary cultural coping mechanism for survival during the war years, but now we seem to be paying the price – our Ancestral coping mechanisms have become maladptive behaviours that cause us to become disconnected from our emotions, ourselves, nature and each other. On an individual level, the adaptive coping mechanisms we develop to cope with our pain in childhood become maladaptive pratices that hinder us in later life…

We are now response-able for reversing this unintentional consequence; each and every one of us needs to become conscious of our own coping mechanisms in order to heal our individual, and hence collective, pain…

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