Katherine quite rightly says; “this word ‘suicide’ is not something to be feared, rather one that we could understand more deeply.”

Katherine Baldwin- Thomson is Kinda Proud of what she’s achieved due to her personal healing journey, and we are Kinda Proud of her for sharing her story with us! Here Katherine tells us how she went from using alcohol to numb her pain, to helping others to find the light at the end of their dark tunnel…

Katherine

My name is Katherine and I am 44 years of age. Looking back at myself as a child, I was very sensitive and quiet. I was spiritual and creative from a young age and liked to be in my own world – not much has changed there. Like many other people my childhood was varied with a mixture of experiences. I had some great times being raised by my loving parents, but I also had some deep traumatic experiences. We were poor and my parents often needed to work two jobs, so I had very little choice but to stay with my grandparents who were mentally ill.

When you are a young child and you have been physically and mentally abused it does leave scares and pain that can manifest later in life. Pain that we attempt to cover up in order to cope.

I didn’t have a good relationship with my grandparents to say the least. I will never forget the smell of falling asleep on musty shag carpet under my nan’s king size bed to avoid being beaten by her with a wooden broom handle. However, throughout my life I have always known that I was not what was happening to me, but rather part of something greater – as we all are.

To cope with some of the trauma from my early life of staying with my grandparents, I started drinking when I was 14 years of age. It was the only way that I felt I could numb my pain at the time. Then, the years went by and I had been drunk and passed out more times than I care to remember.

When I turned twenty I decided that it was time to get my life in order and had the opportunity to open my own shop. The shop was called the Purple Angel and the business was a dream come true for me as I loved working for myself. The business did very well and I was really finding my feet. For the third year in a row we were making a profit and I was so happy that I was finally doing what I wanted.

Then one day, my mum who is a huge inspiration to me and a loving support in my life, told me she had a brain tumour and that the doctors were unsure if she would survive the surgery. My dad ran a supermarket and had to support my mum. We lived in the country and did not have the option for home nursing and the level of care my mum would need. She required round the clock medication and needed help feeding, bathing and dressing. I decided the right thing to do was to close my business and look after my mum day and night, a decision I would never regret. This was a task of many highs and lows and there was an immense amount of pressure placed on me at the age of 23.

A year and a half later my mum had recovered well enough to not need my care anymore.  I then needed to find work and moved to Melbourne as there were more work opportunities than in the country. I took the 1st job that I had an interview for and started working at a supermarket.  My boyfriend and I upsized our home and we were now living in a large house with our dog Wilbur and our cat Chocolate. To many this would have been the ideal stepping stone, however I started to feel overwhelmed and under pressure. I was dealing with the emotional struggle of losing my business, seeing my mum sick for so long, and the heart ache that came with all of that.

I was constantly worried that my mum would need me and being so far away from her kept me in a state of constant stress. I remember it all getting too much for me. I was starting to feel deeply depressed with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I felt like I was trapped and that no one would understand how I was feeling. During that time all my childhood trauma and abuse surfaced and I started drinking again. I was in overwhelm and feared that I had nowhere to turn.

One particular day, I recall my thoughts racing through my head, my heart pounding and my breath being short and shallow. It was at this point that I started to think that maybe everyone would be better off if I wasn’t there.  I would be better, all the pain would cease and all the pressure in my head would finally stop! There would be silence and I would be free.

The idea of silence and no pain felt so good. So I got up off the ground and went to the kitchen and got the sharpest knife and a towel. I placed the knife on my wrist and began to push the blade into the veins. Just at that time my partner unlocked the front door and ran over to me when he heard me sobbing and saw what I was doing. He shouted what are you doing!? I dropped the knife and broke down. It was at that moment I was so grateful he had come home and stopped me. It was also at that point that I knew I didn’t want to kill myself. I just wanted the pain, fear and overwhelm to go away. I just wanted to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I needed to feel that I wasn’t alone and that everything was going to be okay. I wanted to be held and understood.

I went to see someone about how I was feeling. In just four sessions of talking about how I felt and being given simple coping tools, I was back on my feet and feeling like I could cope again. I just needed to start healing the hurt I had gone through as a child and a teenager. I knew that in healing myself and learning to be kind to myself and forgiving myself, I would be in a better position to forgive and let go of those who had hurt me in the past. I also had a sense that it would give me insight and the skills to help other people to do the same.

That is why it makes me very proud to say that at the age of 44 I have been a healer and counsellor for over 20 years and I have been a Vortex Subconscious specialist for over 13 years now. What this means, is that I help people remove old subconscious beliefs and blocks that are held within their subconscious patterning. I specialise in helping children overcome trauma and help women to get back on their feet after difficult times. I help people live their best life possible.

I started doing this work because of my own journey and wanted people to know that they had somewhere to turn when they were down. My desire was to help people come out of stress and overwhelm just like I did and begin to thrive again.

When you really think about it, this word “suicide” is not something to be feared, rather one that we could understand more deeply. When we understand that the person is feeling lost, overwhelmed and like they have nowhere to turn, we also understand that all they are really reaching for is a life line of love – a helping hand to let them know that everything is going to be alright.

Katherine’s Bio:

C.E.O and Founder of Angel Soul Healing. Channel and Healer of The Vortex Subconscious Healing Modality. Owner and Manager of The Angel Soul Healing School and Center.

Katherine is an Advanced Master in The Vortex Subconscious Sound Healing, Subconscious Specialist, Reiki Master, Shaman Master, Advanced Multi-Dimensional Soul healer, Pallowah Practitioner, Trance Channel Master and Doreen Virtue Realm worker. Katherine purely channels with Jesus, Kuan Yin, The Archangels of the universe, Uluru, pure source and so many more.

Katherine Channelled her own healing Modality, The Vortex Subconscious Sound Healing. Katherine is the Inventor of the I AM Happy Stick. The artist and producer of the I AM, Empowerment Oracle Card Deck for women, kids and men. Katherine has been a public speaker and performer of almost 13 years.

Katherine has dedicated her entire adult life to help her clients rebuild their lives. ❤

Does Katherine’s story resonate with your own experience?

Would you like to share your story to give HOPE to others? 

To share your story in our Rep Kelly’s KindaProud book:  #EmergingProud through Suicide

Please email Kelly at: kelly@positivityprincess.com

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