Jonita D’Souza explains how she “had to lose her internal flame to re-discover her real essence” as she #EmergesProud.

Jonita’s journey to awakening fits the pattern shared by so many: starting with a sense of depression and existential questioning, repressed emotions leading the ‘dam bursting’, and wake – up call that becomes our greatest blessing. Jonita describes how her breakdown led to her breaking through to a happier, more fulfilling life:

Jonita Desouza

It was an autumn day in 2011 when I was tired after work and found myself sat in the park with tears rolling down my face. Even though I was only 27 I felt like I had lived a lifetime of stress, overwhelm and fulfilment. I was worn-out by my stressful 9 to 5 job. I felt disinterested in meeting friends for chit-chatting. My love relationship had killed my self-esteem. I was hurting deeply by my dad’s recent sudden death. I was witnessing severe case of eczema spreading all over my body. I cried out loud for several hours questioning if there is a God and if so why am I been punished this way in spite of being a good person.

I was frustrated with my life and could feel a sense of depression sinking in. I could not explain in words what was going on within me forget about trying to even ask for support from my family or friends.

Next day on my way to work in a busy packed train squashed among some tall men, a sudden burst of anger filled me up and I experienced a profound moment. This feeling felt true in every single bone in my body. It was this very moment I realised that there is no way that I was born to get the job, pay the bills, marry a man, make kids, age and die! I realised that my life must mean more than that! As soon as I got off the train, I rushed to one of my friends who was into personal development to share my ‘aha’ moment and she referred me to an event happening nearby called Essence.

This event was the beginning of my journey of awakening.

I spent the next 2 years exploring the true essence of life in a deep spiritual way with the help of several teachers. I changed my job, my circle of friends to a new community that supported my growth, I experienced intense emotions, cried a lot, released a lot of emotional baggage, allowed myself the time to heal all the physical and emotional abuse, connected with my soul and uncovered my divine purpose on this planet – I discovered myself finally!!

When I discovered my essence, I realised that my sacred purpose is to spread this learning to the women around which is why I founded the company Exploring Femininity as I realised that many women were having similar experiences. My journey of awakening brought me beautiful experiences like out of body occurrences, lucid dreaming, psychic awareness and cultivating ecstasy in my feminine body.

Now that I look back, I can say that I had to lose my internal flame to re-discover my real essence. I am so grateful for my journey.

Many of us lose our essence by letting our not so pretty life-story take over. Spiritual awakening is happening to each one of us every day only if we stop, notice and begin to question our uncomfortable emotions.

http://jonitadsouza.com/

Thank you Jonita for joining the #Emerging Proud community! ❤

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