Awakening age 5. Communism. Suicidal thoughts and self- harm…and now, gratitude for the journey. Cornelia Cacu from Romania proudly announces the emerging Romanian SEN, being born due to her own transformation process.

Cornelia’s journey has been profound. Experiencing anomalous phenomena from the age of 5 led her to teenage years of confusion, anger and self- harm. Thankfully, her parents recognised her experiences as a spiritual transformation process, and were able to prevent her from diagnosis and hospitalisation. Cornelia bares all about how she is now living proof that such extreme emergence processes can be a positive transformation, if understood and supported correctly.

Cornelia’s experiences and subsequent passion have propelled her to set up a SEN (Spiritual Emergence Network) in Romania, alongside colleagues who are supporting her to do so. SEN Romania will be under the ISEN umbrella. Hear Cornelia’s story here:

Cornelia’s synopsis of her journey to LIFE

Life is music.

I remember being a ball of light, traveling with an immense speed. The next thing I know, I was in a small form, a human body, experiencing the most ecstatic and blissful feeling. It was like my whole body was singing this superb harmonic song and my cells were in synchronicity with the whole life. That was my first kundalini awakening.

Life is music.

This life force that was birthing inside my body led to a long period of time in which I was in love with every person that I met, with the nature and animals. On the other hand, this immense Eros also attracted a sexual trauma in the same period of time. I remember very well that I was kind of living in 2 worlds – one was hell – because I was absorbing all the information from the environment and could feel inside my body all the emotions and pain of others like my own, and the other world was heaven – because I was feeling like I’m the Earth’s daughter and all this love was pouring from my heart towards everything that was alive. Being born in a communist country, in a moment of time that the human collective mind was still very constrictive I felt alone, trapped inside a body that was feeling everything and was also hurting a lot, with no one to talk to about this, except for my Self.

Life is music.

As I grew up, I kind of forgot about all the beauty and moved to hell as a resident. For a lot of years I felt the urge, or necessity to die, considering that the only way to end up with the pain I was feeling was by terminating my body and releasing myself out of the torture cage. In the same time I was abusing myself, feeling a lot of guilt and shame for me breathing, feeling a lot of anger – and because I knew that I also poses a very powerful destructive force and didn’t want to harm “others”, at the age of 15, I started cutting my skin – the only way I was feeling liberated from the tension inside.

Life is music.

I continued my dualistic form of living – most of the people who knew me had no idea that inside myself was a war – until finally I had a calling for a big change, through a form of practice that was very familiar – expanded states of consciousness using sounds – binaural beats. Before I being aware of mySelf, at the age of 5, my family is saying that I was always singing and putting myself into a state of trance through this singing, so for me – using sounds as a transformational tool was totally appropriate, and still is.

I was very lucky to have my family’s understanding in this process, because in 5 years of intense transformation there were a couple of times I had asked my mother to hospitalize me in a mental hospital and she refused it – reassuring me that I am and will be fine and it is just a “dark night of the soul”.

In 2015, when I was 30 – I had my sexual trauma healed and also the second kundalini awakening as a result of this powerful healing. I knew that I was being reborn and that I was given new eyes, and a whole body to live in. And remembered that I have never left Eden and that the Original Innocence was always inside myself guiding me through this ”dark night of the soul” – singing me the song of Wholeness:

“Life is music, my child. Just listen.”

Cornelia is now a writer and a life coach. Her book, ‘Eaters of Faces’ is described here:

“ Devoratorii de chipuri (Eaters of Faces) it’s not just a simple book with a dark flavour, it is a book about life, about the mistakes we are endlessly repeating, about the past that keeps chasing us if we don’t integrate it and leave it behind, a past that drags us into the dark maze of our memories. It is a book that brings to the surface the demons from the inside and challenges us to face them, and blend them in. In the same way it challenges us to find love and hope, silence and wholeness. All the dual manifestations – the ones labelled as good and evil – are taking their fight inside our soul, mind and body.” (book overview) Genre: Magic- Realism novel